Chasing Forever
by greys.endoftheworld
Summary: This is a compilation of one-shots that feature an alternate version of Miranda Bailey and Ben Warren's love story. They're my favorite TV couple and this short story just shows their love through the years. Author's Note: This does not stay true to the series at all. Lol. Aside from Bailey's parents, there is only one other familiar character.
1. Let's Get Married

**Let's Get Married**

Little Miranda Bailey ran through the busy hotel and into the one room that she knew was off-limits. Her dress flounced behind her and her shiny black shoes made no noise on the carpet. She was scolded as soon as she crossed over the threshold. "Miranda Bailey, what are you doing in this room? Didn't I tell you—" Her mother, Elena, pulled back her hand to pop her.

"Auntie, it's okay. That's my flower girl you're yelling at," Miranda's older cousin, Raven said. She winked at the younger girl. Elena huffed with a laugh and walked away. Miranda exhaled softly and looked at Raven. She was eighteen and just about to get married. The brown-skinned girl stood in front of Miranda in a beautiful off-white dress, her hair was swept up and surrounded by a tiara. She was gorgeous.

"You look like a princess," Miranda told her in a high-pitched voice.

"Thank you, Mandy, but why are you running around getting all sweaty?"

"There's a boy chasing me," Miranda answered.

"Aren't you the lucky one?" One of Raven's bridesmaids said passing by.

"No. He's annoying." The girl's declaration shook the entire room with laughter. She screwed up her face. They just didn't know just how annoying he was. Whoever 'he' was. She'd been outside playing with her cousins when a little boy came up to them. He'd introduced himself and they were all having fun, but every once in a while, she would look up to see him staring at her. _Well!?_ She'd yelled at him. _What are you looking at?_ He'd taken a step in her direction with a smile on his face. _You._ Then he'd turned and run in the other direction.

Miranda looked out of the room and saw the boy rushing by the room. She hid behind Raven, almost stepping on her dress. "Mandy, out!" Elena said pointing.

Miranda slinked out of the laughing room. She grumbled as she walked down the hall, hoping not to run into him again. He really was weird. She spotted her cousins and they all danced in front of the mirrors covering a hallway wall. In the glass, she looked past her brown body in white lace and saw him coming again, his head turned away from her. She ran back in the bride's room. She looked around, glad that her mother was nowhere to be found. In fact, Raven was all alone. "Come here, Mandy." She walked in the room. "You know your momma is going to get you, doing all of that running and playing with boys."

The girl smirked. "He's coming."

Raven gestured for her to get under the long train of her wedding dress just as the boy was passing by. "Hey, you! Little boy!"

"Me?" He poked his chest, moving his tie a little.

Raven nodded. He started to walk into the room. "Uh-uh, ladies only."

The boy stopped in his tracks. "Yes?"

"I know you. You're Tamra's little brother, right? Benjamin, right?" The boy nodded and said that he was. "Mmmhmm. Your sister and I go way back," she said sounding older than her eighteen years. Miranda peeked out from underneath the dress. "Are you chasing after my little cousin?" He nodded again, fiercely. "Why?" Raven tried to hold back a chuckle. Miranda wanted to pinch her and punch him.

"I like her." Raven _awww_ -ed. "Do you know where she is?"

"I'm sorry, handsome, she ran out about ten minutes ago."

Miranda watched his face fall and she smiled, but her stomach lurched. "Thank you." He started to walk away and then stopped again. "You look very nice." He bowed and ran off.

"He's gone. So come on out, Mandy." Miranda lifted the dress and crawled out. "He's nice." The girl shook her head, unconvinced. "And cute. I think he likes you."

"Ewww!"

"Oh, stop! Don't you want to get married like me? And have a pretty dress and a big party with all of your friends and family?" Raven smiled more to herself than to Miranda. "And a husband who would do absolutely anything for you? And who you would do anything for?"

Miranda shrugged as Raven wiped a tear from her eye. "Why are you crying? Are you sad?" Raven shook her head. "Scared?"

"Maybe." The two girls laughed. More than a decade separated them, but they were close. Any secrets Miranda had, she took them to Raven first. And Raven, although older, never hesitated to expound her teenage trouble on the seven year old. They hugged and Raven kissed her forehead. "Give him a chance. At most you'll have a lifelong friend."

Elena came back into the room. "It's time, beautiful." Miranda let Raven go and watched as she walked out of the room.

At the reception, Miranda sat alone at the bridal party table. No other kids had been in the wedding. There was supposed to be a ring bearer, but the boy had gotten sick just days before the event. So, the seat next to her was empty. Miranda put her feet up and watched Raven and her husband, Eddie dance in the middle of the large room. "Can you move your feet please?" Miranda looked up to see the boy called Benjamin standing right in front of her. She shrugged and put her feet down, they clicked against the hardwood. Miranda turned away from him slightly. "Hi."

"Hey," she said over her shoulder. Through the crowd, she could feel her mother glaring at her, urging her to be polite.

"I am Ben."

"I know." She waved at him and he wave back. "I'm Miranda, but everyone calls me Mandy."

"Miranda. Miranda." He rolled her name around a few times. "I like that," he decided. They both turned to watch the dance floor begin to fill up.

His eyes. She felt them again. "Stop looking at me!" She grunted.

"Why? You're pretty."

Miranda blushed and turned around to face him. He was kind of cute and his smile for her had never faded. She smiled back for the first time and his smile grew. "Thank you."

After a long silence, he said: "Let's get married."

"What?" She started to push him and he leaned back, unbalancing her. He smirked. "I'm not marrying you."

"But I think we should get married. Like them," he said, pointing to the newlyweds who were walking around to the different tables.

One of the groomsmen laughed and turned to tell the guy next to him what he'd overheard. Miranda blushed again, this time embarrassed. "I think… that you should go away." The men howled.

"Want to dance?"

She looked the boy right in the eye: "No."


	2. Popcorn Love

**Popcorn Love**

"No dress," Miranda said crossing her arms and looking at her mom.

"Yes," Elena said raising her eyebrow.

"Nooo," the girl whined. It was her birthday and if her mother made her wear a dress, she would cry. Thirteen was a big year and she wanted to wear what she wanted to wear. All of her friends would be at her house in a few hours and she was so nervous. The thought of being thrown into a stuffy dress that would restrict her and make her think twice about her every move pissed her off. She stopped whining and looked at her mom. "I—"

"Maybe not a stiff _dressy dress_ , but a cute dress would make you look even more beautiful than you already are."

Miranda inhaled. "Okay. Nothing too cute, I'm a teenager now."

"Almost," Elena said hugging the girl. They picked out a dress and went back home. Miranda stood in the mirror and stepped into the dress she and her mom had picked out. An inch above her knees, the dress was semi- tie-dyed. The top was white and the bottom was navy blue, her favorite color, and in the middle, the two colors bled together. A brown belt added a flair and Miranda put her new jean jacket, a gift from her grandmother, on top of it to make it more stylish. She eyed herself. Accessories. She needed jewelry. She slid on some bracelets and the necklace her dad had given her for becoming a member of the Junior National Honor Society. "You look so grownup!" Elena hugged Miranda and twirled her around.

Her father, William, walked in her room. "Yeah, too grownup," he said making them laugh. "You look pretty, baby." He embraced her, kissing her cheek.

"Thank you, daddy."

"But remember…"

"Yes?"

"Don't grow up too fast," William said. He shook his finger at her and she giggled. "There she is."

"Who?" Miranda said whipping her head around.

"My little girl." She smiled. "And don't let me see that you were talking to boys for too long."

"Okay," she responded, pouting a little. William raised an eyebrow. Her dad had to work and wouldn't be there, but they would be recording the whole party so that he could watch later. Even on the day of her party, Miranda wasn't sold on the idea, but it would be the only way for her father to witness the event. "I mean, okay."

The party was a big hit. "So much fun, Mandy," someone said as she walked toward her friend.

"Best of the year," her best friend, Beth, said loud enough for their classmate, Tessa, to overhear. The two girls laughed behind their hands. Miranda looked up to see Elena waving at her.

"Yes?" Miranda said walking up to the older woman.

"Have you spoken to all of your guests and said thank you?" Elena brushed imaginary specks from her daughter's shoulders.

"Yes, mama," Miranda said looking around. Her party was going fine without her mother bugging her.

"I don't think you have."

"I have." She surveyed the room. "I've talked to Quincy and Diana and Steve." Miranda hid a smile. Steve was her crush. He was the cutest boy in her class. His brown skin and brown eyes and short black hair made him look like a member of her favorite group, 'New Edition'. Miranda knew that Steve had a crush on her. She also knew that he liked Tessa as well. Nevertheless, Miranda still liked him. "…and Kris and Dominique…" Miranda continued to rattle off the names of everyone in the room who she at least remembered speaking to even if she probably hadn't thanked them. She smiled at her mom. "See?"

Elena cocked her head to the side. "You skipped someone."

"Who?"

"Ben."

"Who is Ben?"

"You don't remember Ben?"

 _If I did, I wouldn't have said 'Who is Ben?'_ "No, ma'am."

Her mother smiled and touched her back. "From Raven's wedding. The one who kept chasing you."

"Who invited him?"

"Raven and I did."

"That jerk."

"Excuse me?"

Miranda spoke quickly. She didn't dare play with her mother's wont to snatch her up in front of her friends. "I was talking about Raven." Miranda shook her head. "He kept staring at me."

"You danced with him."

"I said 'no' at first." Elena made a face. "He asked me like twenty times."

"No one made you."

"I was bored."

"You looked like you had a good time to me."

Miranda sighed. "But he was weird, mama."

Her mother chuckled. "I don't care. He's a guest. Your guest. And you need to speak to him and be a good hostess." Miranda started to protest and was met with a stern face and a look that almost ironed her jean jacket. "Now."

"Yes, ma'am." She made her way over to Ben who was standing by the snack table. "H-hi."

"Hi yourself," Ben said. Miranda gave him the onceover. He'd certainly gotten more handsome in the last six years. His hair was in a short afro and unlike the other boys in their jeans; he was wearing khaki pants with a black vest and all-black Converses. He caught her staring. "Do you remember me?"

"Yes, I do. From Raven's wedding."

"Yep," he said popping the 'p'. Ben picked up a small plate from the table that was piled high with popcorn and miniature Kit-Kats. "You weren't very nice then." He chuckled at his own joke.

Feeling the eyes of her mother, she smiled politely. "Thank you for coming to my party." Ben nodded. "Wait! What do you mean I wasn't very nice? I was."

"You were kind of…"

"What? Kind of what?" She was starting to get angry now. How was he going to come to her party and talk bad about her in front of her!?

"Mean?" He offered. He put a piece of popcorn into his mouth and chased it with a Kit-Kat. "Want one?"

"No!" She screeched under her breath. He wiggled his eyebrows. She'd just proven his point. "Sorry, yes." She put her hands on the plate at the same time he did. Their fingers wrestled briefly before she pulled up a piece of each item. "Thank you." With a full mouth, he said that it was no problem. "And, um, sorry for calling you 'weird'."

"You didn't."

She shook with laughter. "I did. At the wedding and just a few minutes ago."

"Mandy! Come here!" Beth said frantically waving her over. Miranda noticed that her crush was standing next to her best friend. Miranda's heart jumped. She heard him ask about Ben.

"Miranda," Ben said.

"Yes?"

"That is a nice dress." She looked down, touching the dress. She was so glad that her mother had convinced her to get it. "Even better than the one you wore at the wedding."

"How do you remember that? I don't even remember that," she laughed and took some more popcorn.

"Mandy!"

She ignored them. "How?"

"Because you were so pretty. You are so pretty." She watched him blush.

A touch on her arm broke their eye contact. "Mandy! Steve wants to talk to you," Beth said trying to control her whisper.

"Okay. But—"

"You can go," Ben said. He smiled at her. _Smile's still the same_. "I'll catch up with you later."

"No, he can wait," she mumbled. Beth looked between Ben and Miranda and walked off.

He seemed genuinely surprised. "So, uh, what are you going to wish for?" She looked at him. What kind of thirteen year old asked that kind of question? "When you blow out your candles?"

"I don't know. Maybe some new skates, a Walkman, something like that." He shook his head. "What?"

"You're thirteen."

She pointed to the large sign behind him that read: "Happy 13th Birthday, Miranda!" "I know that."

"I'm just saying, you have to wish for something really good because the thirteenth wish is supposed to come true."

"Really?" Miranda finally understood what he was trying to say. Ben nodded "What did you wish for?"

"Well, I'd just moved to a new neighborhood and a new school so I wished for at least one new friend."

"And?"

"Still waiting," he confessed, his cheeks getting even redder than she thought was possible. He ate a piece of chocolate. "But this isn't about me. Just make it good."

Standing in front of her birthday cake, Miranda looked across the table into the glowing faces of her guests. She looked at her mother who was holding up the camera recording her. Her last glance was to the two faces directly in front of her: Steve and Ben. Everyone finished singing and Miranda took a deep breath and blew out the candles.

Beth had already made plans to spend the night. When the girls were in their pajamas, they lay on the floor and gossiped about the party. "What did Steve say to you?" Beth asked. Miranda shrugged. Steve wasn't much of a talker. When she'd gone over to him, he'd just said that the party was nice. He also told her what gift he'd bought. How did she never know how quiet and almost… uninteresting he was? Miranda told this to Beth. "I don't know. But I think he likes you."

"Or he still likes what's-her-name."

"Who was the boy you were talking to? At the snacks."

"Just an old friend, I guess," Miranda smirked. She'd known of Ben longer than she had known Beth. She said this to her friend. The thought amused her to no end and she rolled on her back, laughter overwhelming her. "A boy I met at Raven's wedding."

"You two talked for a long time."

"No, we didn't," Miranda argued.

"You ate stuff from his plate."

"So?"

"You like him."

Miranda could feel herself turning red. "I like Steve."

Beth yawned. "Okay. But you and—"

"Ben."

"That's his name? Well, he's cute. If you don't like him, could you give me his number?" Beth laughed.

Miranda gritted her teeth. "I don't have it," she confessed. "Plus, Steve asked me out."

The other girl popped up. "He did not! Tell me everything!"

"Girls! It's late, go to sleep," William called from across the hall.

"Okay, daddy," Miranda shouted. She gestured for them to lower their voices. "When I finally talked to him, he said that he was having a good time, all the usual stuff. Then we were quiet and he said he liked me and I said that I knew and that I also knew he liked Tessa." She paused, enjoying the attention that Beth was showing, hanging on her every word. "And he said he didn't like her anymore and he asked if I wanted to go to the movies on Saturday." Beth squealed. Miranda's eyes widened.

"Sorry! So you have a date?"

"Maybe. But my mom and dad probably won't let me go out with a boy by myself."

Beth thought for a second, not ready to let the idea die. "What if we went as a four-pack?"

"Who's 'we'?"

"Me, you, Steve and… and… Oooh! The… Ben!"

"Ben?" Something in Miranda stirred. She didn't want Ben to be there while she went on a date with Steve, but she didn't say that to her best friend. "I don't know, Beth. I don't even know him like that. And neither do you."

"Do you want to go out with Steve or not?" Miranda nodded. She really did. She was already quite popular and that would grow even more when the awesomeness of her party got out. But going out with Steve would elevate her status to an unreachable level. And in the 8th grade, status was everything. "Exactly."

"I guess I could get his number from Raven." Beth yawned again with a nod and put her head down on the pillow underneath her. Two minutes later, the pig-tailed girl was asleep. But Miranda couldn't sleep. She saw a flashing light coming through the crack of her bedroom door. Someone was watching TV. She put on her robe and went to the family room. She saw her father in his pajamas with a bowl of ice cream and cake watching her thirteenth birthday party video. "Daddy?"

"Yes, baby," he smiled up at her. "You caught me."

"You're watching it now?" He nodded. "I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm allowed to change my mind, no?"

"Can I have some more cake?"

"A little. And don't tell your mom or she'll kill us." The two of them laughed the same laugh. As she ate her ice cream, Miranda looked on the screen and saw her conversation with Ben end, video Miranda tossed a laugh to video Ben over her shoulder. William looked at his daughter sitting next to him and made a face. Miranda buried her head into her dessert bowl. Then video Miranda walked over to video Steve. Her back was almost against the wall and she surveyed the room as his lips moved. "Which one of these knuckleheads is the one you like?" William called every little boy a knucklehead.

She giggled nervously. "N-no one. Neither. They—Raven... And he, uh, oh—Just a boy from school."

He ignored her sputtering. "So which one of them do you like?"

Miranda got up to pause the video and pointed to Steve. William made a noise. "Yep."

"And he likes me, too," she told him with a smile.

"Does he?"

"Yes. He told and he…askedmeoutforSaturday."

William ate a spoonful of pie. Miranda noticed that he wasn't eating both the pie and ice cream even though they were in the same bowl. Like Ben, he was eating each item separately. Her heart raced as she thought of Ben. "Okay."

"Okay?" So far in her thoughts, she'd lost track of the conversation.

"But I think you should go out in a group. You know, with a bunch of your friends."

Miranda nodded. Beth had predicted this. "Beth likes Ben."

"Who's Ben?" Miranda got up again and rewound the video pausing when she saw Ben. The screen capture saw her smiling on her way to another conversation that she didn't even remember and a smiling Ben staring at her. Miranda pointed to him. Another noise from William. "Oh. You talked to him for a while. Too long in my opinion. Do you like him?" Miranda shook her head. He nodded to the picture. "Looks like you do."

She sat back down and had some more ice cream. "I like Steve," she said again, softly.

Her father turned to her. "It's okay, you know? If you like two boys at the same time. No one should judge you and… it's okay." William gave her a short smile and turned back to the video. "Why do I remember that kid?"

"He was at Raven's wedding. He kept bothering me," Miranda said laughing.

"Oh, yes. You were near hysterics running from him." She nodded. "Little knucklehead turned out alright."

"I guess." She waited. "So I can go, dad? With Steve?" William nodded. She hugged her father tightly and kissed his cheek. Miranda fell asleep watching the video and when she opened her eyes, she was back in her room on the floor next to Beth. She became giddy when she remembered that she could go out with Steve. Her first date. Miranda went back to sleep with a smile on her face.


	3. Back for Good

**Back For Good**

"Thanks for walking me home." Miranda paused at the top of her porch stairs and looked down at her boyfriend, Steve, who was on the step below her.

"Mandy, can we talk for a second?" He asked.

"About what?" She said sighing. He put his arms around her waist and wiggled his eyebrows. She started to smile. "What?"

"Look, I just think…" Steve started. "We could…" Miranda rolled both of her eyes, cutting him off. She didn't say much to him nowadays, her body language, noises and facial expressions told the story. "Fine. I'll see you in the morning?"

"Okay," she said. Steve pulled her closer for a short kiss. "My dad is probably watching." Steve nodded, kissed her cheek and walked across their porch and down the stairs. Miranda sat on the porch swing and watched him ride away on his bike and shook her head. She knew exactly what he'd wanted to say. She was sixteen, he was seventeen. He wanted to do other stuff— _not sex_ , he'd told her two weeks ago. _Just more than kissing._ They'd been dating on and off since they were thirteen. Raven had told her that most boys had certain expectations at this age. And, honestly, Miranda did want to go further, but her plate was just so full already without worrying about her horndog of a boyfriend. Mid-terms for junior year were coming up, there was basketball practice and games and she had to keep up her GPA to stay in the Honor Society, plus chores at home and babysitting her little cousin, Raven's son, Eddie, Jr. Putting sex on top of all of that was too much.

"Mandy! Phone!" Her dad said coming to the door and sticking the phone out to her.

"Thank you, daddy."

"How was school?"

Miranda could see flour on his pants and smelled the hot grease from the kitchen and knew that chicken was on the menu. Her mood brightened immediately. She put her hand over the phone's mouthpiece. "Pretty good. No homework, but that gives me more time to study."

"That's my girl!" He said winking at her.

When he went back into the house, Miranda turned her attention to the caller: "Hello?"

"Miranda!"

She rolled her eyes for the second time since school ended. But this time it was in jest and not in frustration. "Benjamin!" The two of them laughed for a few minutes.

"You haven't called me all week!"

"Through the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, you could have also called me," she answered sassily, tossing two of her long braids out of her face.

"I knew you would say that."

"I've missed hearing your voice," she said suddenly. It slipped right out and there was no way to stop it. She really had. Ben's dad was a military man and they moved a few times a year. Once he'd moved from Baltimore when they were fifteen, it was a few months before she'd heard from him again. Since then, they'd become best friends, talking on the phone all day some days, never running out of stuff to say. Steve claimed he wasn't jealous, but since they'd entered junior year, he pressured her for more details about her friendship with Ben. He still argued that Miranda and Ben were the actual ones on their date all those years ago, something about them flirting, something about their chemistry. It was annoying. She didn't feel the need to constantly ask why he and Tessa still talked even though they'd both sworn off the people they'd seen between their breaks, their exes. She trusted him and she wanted him to do the same. There was nothing going on between her and Ben. They'd talked about it once after she'd dumped Steve for _accidentally_ brushing his hand against her breasts. But the distance was too much and they didn't want to risk their friendship. Miranda hadn't told Ben, but it was all or nothing with him. She wanted _all_ , but _nothing_ was something she just couldn't handle. So where they were was good enough for her.

"Same here."

"So where are you now?"

"What makes you think I'm not still in Arizona?"

She hadn't seen him in so long, but she imagined that he was lying on his bed and looking up at his ceiling. "It's November and you haven't complained once about the sweltering heat!"

Ben laughed. "That's because we're in New Hampshire now. Wherever that is." They laughed again. "I'm trying to make my way back to you."

"Stop," she said with an awkward chuckle.

"It's tough living without my best friend and making real new ones is nearly impossible."

"I thought we'd come up with a strategy?" Ben said that they had, but that the lingo between teens changed between states so it was pointless. "Oh. Good thing you have me."

"Great thing I have you." She smiled. "Damn, I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow or something. Take my new number." Miranda wrote it down in her planner under the long list of his other numbers. "Bye."

"Bye," she said hanging up the cordless phone.

"No 'I love you'," Raven said coming up the stairs with two brown grocery bags. She blew Miranda a kiss.

"That was Ben. Not Steve." And she and Ben didn't say that they loved each other. She once asked him if they had to or if they should. He said that they didn't. That when it was time, they would each know it and accept it. That answer had worked for her. Thinking about loving her best friend made her sweat.

"My question stands."

"Whatever. Where's EJ?" Miranda asked referring to Raven's son.

"Hey, Randy," Raven's husband, Eddie, said coming the stairs with bags of his own. "Randy" was his nickname for Miranda. It cemented their friendship. He leaned down and kissed Miranda's cheek. "He's at a friend's house down the street or he ran off to join the circus." Eddie took his six-foot frame into the house. His skin was the color of mahogany and a great guy, Miranda often found herself wishing that she'd get to marry someone as cool as he was.

"A better circus than this one?" Miranda said getting up to help Raven.

"Thank you, Mandy."

Raven put one hand on her back and one on her head. "Ooooo! Are you pregnant again?"

"What?"

"You are, aren't you?"

"Yeah. How in the hell did you know?" Raven laughed and clapped her hands.

Miranda shrugged. "Wild guess, I guess." The older woman twisted her lips to the side. "And I see a small bump."

"Ha! I came here to tell everyone the good news so don't say anything." Miranda promised that she wouldn't.

After dinner, Miranda sat in her closet, listening to "Boyz II Men". A knock on her door made her poke her head from under the hanging clothes. "Come in."

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Just studying." Raven looked at the open books on the bed and pursed her lips comically, making Miranda blush. "Well, taking a break from studying."

"Okay, we're getting ready to go."

Miranda got up to hug the woman, her long braids falling over both of their shoulders. "Congratulations again, Raven."

"Thank you." Miranda exhaled. "You're okay?" Miranda looked at Raven and made a face. "Steve?"

"Yes!"

Raven raised two fists. "Want Eddie to talk to him?" The two of them giggled and sat down on Miranda's bed, pushing back the books.

"No! But he wants to go further."

"Do you?" Raven asked. She never pulled any punches with Miranda about Steve.

"Maybe," she admitted. "But not now. I have too much to do."

"Did you tell him that?"

"He knows. We're both going through the same things."

"Mmmhmm. Boys are dense, so he doesn't know if you do not tell him."

"Okay."

"Okay." Raven gathered Miranda's braids and started to make bigger ones. "How's Ben? Is he liking Arizona?"

"They're in New Hampshire now."

"Wow. Really?" Miranda nodded. "Cool. Does he like it?"

"Probably. At least we're on the same coast."

"I'll never know why you two aren't a couple."

"Because we live in different states and I'm already in a relationship." Raven nodded in agreement. "And because… because he's my best friend?"

"Eddie is my best friend."

"I thought I was your best friend?" The younger girl smiled.

"You are."

The youngest Eddie burst into the room. "Mommy! Daddy's waiting in the car."

"Guess I'm off," Raven said. "Talk to Steve."

"I will."

"And tell Ben I said 'hello'," Raven winked at her cousin as they hugged again.

Miranda crawled back into closet with a book and wasn't two pages into studying when someone knocked on her window. "I'm studying!" More knocking. "With books and papers and pens!" She grumbled. "Steve! I know it's you. Stop! You're distracting me." The knocking continued and was getting louder and then the person started tapping out a beat. She opened the window, "Whoever this is had better—" Standing in front of her was Ben. He was dripping wet. She gasped and shut the window.

"Hey!" He said. "It's raining out here, girl. Let me in." She rubbed her eyes and opened the window again. She opened it wider and watched him crawl through it.

"Why are you here?"

"You," he said smiling. Miranda noticed that he'd gotten much taller, surpassing her by several inches. She looked up at him and tried not to wipe the rain from his face. "Hi, Miranda."

She hit him. "Don't 'hi, Miranda' me! Jerk!"

"Sorry. It was a surprise and I wanted to actually see the look on your face when I tell you that me and mom are moving back to Baltimore until I graduate."

"No!" He nodded. "I'm gonna cry."

Ben laughed. "Aww, don't cry now. Or I'm going to start tearing up. I'm sorry."

Miranda laughed and told him to take off his coat and she handed him a towel. "So your dad is in…"

"Arizona."

"Who was in New Hampshire?"

"No one."

"Asshole."

"But you love me," he said.

"Not really." He threw his arms around her and pulled her in tightly. She hadn't hugged him in so long; had never held his late-teens body. Hugs and kisses couldn't be sent through letters and phone calls. She kissed his cheek, something she'd never done before but it felt—"Weird. Was that weird?"

"A little, but I liked it." The two of them sat on her bed and talked.

When her mother opened the door, Miranda could see her trying not to lose her cool. "And you are?"

He stood up. "Mrs. Bailey. It's me—Ben." Miranda put a hand to her mouth and smiled.

Elena touched her chest. "Oh! Good. I thought it was… anyway, how are you?"

"Fine."

"You look well. And handsome."

Miranda blushed. "Momma!"

Elena smiled, "Miranda, a word outside. Now."

"Yes, ma'am." She followed her mother into the hall. "Yes?"

Elena put her hands on her hips and glared at Miranda. "There is a boy in your room."

"Ma, it's only Ben."

"Is he a boy?"

"Yes, b—"

"I know you know that boys are not allowed in your room." Miranda opened her mouth. Her parents had only said that Steve wasn't able to be in her room. Elena cut her off. "Especially when you two are alone and we didn't even know about it."

"I didn't ask him to come here. I didn't even know he was back in town. But he's my best friend," Miranda pleaded. "It's only for an hour or so, please, mama." Elena took a deep breath. "And I'm still dating Steve, so we won't be doing anything like that."

Her mother sighed. "I don't know. It's too improper, boys and girls in a closed room."

"More like one girl and one boy and those two people are best friends who haven't seen each other in forever." Elena looked at her daughter. "I _never_ get into trouble. I have good grades. I—"

"Okay, okay, okay. Just this once."

"Thank you. Thank you."

"And if I catch you and him or that other one in your room alone again, I am going to punish you."

"Yes, ma'am."

They stepped back into the girl's room. Elena gestured to Ben. "So, Ben, are you hungry? We just finished eating; I could warm you up something."

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you," Ben answered with a bright smile. Elena mimicked his joyful facial expression and left the room.

"Oh, you are so good," Miranda said turning toward him, their knees touching.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Ask Steve if my mother has ever smiled at him."

"And how is Steve?" Ben picked at the fabric of his torn jeans.

"He's good," she said. "A little… overeager."

The two friends laughed and kept talking while Ben ate. When he was finished, he put his empty plate on her desk. "Miranda?"

"Yeah?"

"I haven't been completely honest about why I'm here, in your room, dripping water onto your bed and floor."

"Enlighten me."

I'm not entirely here because I'm your best friend. I mean, that's a big part of it, but there's more."

"So…"

"I've enrolled at your school."

"And?" She asked trying not to get impatient.

"And I wanted to know if you'd go to prom… with me?"

"That's not until next year."

"I know. And I also know you'll have more than a few offers. So I'm putting in my bid now."

She took a breath. "B-b-but—" She cut herself off and started again. "Steve and I will probably go together."

"You think you two will still be together then?"

Miranda got defensive. "I hope so."

"I don't mean to put an expiration date on your relationship, Miranda, but…" Ben slid closer to her. "Has he asked you?"

"H-he hasn't gotten around to even thinking about it yet. I wasn't even thinking about it yet."

"I have. Say 'yes'."

"I don't… Ben…"

He moved closer to her. Miranda could hear her heart beating. Their faces were inches apart. Miranda wanted to laugh. This was just what her mother was worried about. She knew that Ben was her best friend and she kind of trusted them alone or at least was pretending to. If she knew how their conversation was going, she'd both spazz and throw Ben out on his ear. "Just say 'yes'." He hugged her once more. It was different from the one he'd given her earlier. He rubbed her back slowly, pressing their bodies together. Had Steve ever made her feel like this? Should she say yes? The hairs on her body stood up. Ben kissed her cheek, his lips lingering on her skin. He picked up his coat, opened the window and climbed back into the rain.


	4. Why Don't You and I

**Why Don't You and I**

"And you said 'yes,' did you not?" Ben asked putting his head into his hands.

"You forced me into saying that!" Miranda exclaimed. He shook his head. They were sitting in his freshmen dorm room talking with some friends before a floor party started.

"Yeah, okay." The people in the room laughed. Ben waved her off.

"So?" Someone asked. "Did you go together?"

"Yes," Ben said at the same time Miranda said: "No."

"We did go together, Miranda."

"But just until you and Steve had your fight and then—"

"Wait, they fought over you?"

Miranda shook her head. "That's what they tell people, but really it was their big, fat egos." She poked Ben in his head. He grabbed her finger and it bit it gingerly.

"So, wait, you two aren't together?" Ben and Miranda said that they weren't. "Never would have guessed."

"Party's starting!" Someone in the hall called out.

The college students filed out of the room. Two sets of three adjoining rooms started to fill up with rowdy college students. Miranda and Ben split up. She branched off to find something to drink, sending him to get snacks. Each room was packed and Miranda grooved to the music while she moved in and out the rooms. She found a clean cup and filled it up with whatever liquid was in the huge container on the dresser. "You didn't get me one?" He asked when they finally found each other again.

"We'll have to share. This was like the only cup that hadn't fallen on the floor.

"Cool." Miranda moved through the rooms, talking to several people. Ben followed, uninterested.

"What is your problem?" She asked. He didn't answer. The music boomed. "You haven't asked me to dance or bugged me for a sip of our drink."

"Nothing."

She knew he was lying, but she didn't want to get into an argument. This was college and they'd be together for the next four years, she didn't want start a petty ass fight—and definitely not at a floor party. "What kind of snacks do they have here?"

He chuckled. "Nothing good." A few seconds later, he asked: "Do you just want to go?"

"Yes." Ben touched her back and guided her out of the room. "Where do you want to go now?"

"I'll walk you back to your dorm."

"Um, sure. Or we can go and get something to eat. I'm starving," she laughed.

After leaving the store, they ended up back in Miranda's room talking. They sat at her desk eating. "Miranda?"

"Yeah?" She answered while putting some fries in her mouth.

"Nothing."

"Please stop doing that, Ben. Say what you have to—what you want to say," she challenged.

"Sorry."

"Now I'm worried. Is something wrong? Are you okay?"

"Why aren't we together?" He blurted out. Ben lowered his eyes and stared at her.

She swallowed and matched his gaze. "I don't know how many times we can talk about this."

"We belong together."

Miranda's heart fluttered. "You're almost in a relationship."

"With who?"

" _Whom_."

"Whatever, Miranda. That's not the point."

Miranda jerked her head out of the door. "Santana is crazy about you." The girl was relentless, always showing up unannounced and trying to worm her way into Ben's arms. "She's made it very clear."

"Yeah, she has." Miranda's heart fell. She was over love triangles. So many times she tried to reason with herself about why she and Ben couldn't be together. And she'd always come up with the same answer: she would rather crush on Ben forever than have their friendship torn apart. It wasn't worth it. Was it worth it? "And I don't care because I love you, Miranda." She gasped. That was the first time either of them had said they'd loved the other without the element of humor. He moved his chair, closing the gap between them.

"I love you," Miranda said standing up and walked toward the window. Ben followed. "That felt weird to say. You're my best friend, Ben."

He shook his head. "Don't do that. Don't use our friendship as a reason not to leap into something that could be so good."

"I'm not. We just got here, Ben. And I just got out of a, what, a, uh, five-year relationship," she laughed.

"He was not good enough for you."

She swallowed. "No, he wasn't," she admitted. She and Steve had been together for far longer they should have, but being with the boy was comforting. He was her childhood.

"And he cheated on you and I would never do that."

"He what? What are you talking about?"

"I saw him and Tessa making out the day before prom." Miranda scoffed. "That's why I punched him. That's why we fought," Ben confessed. "I'm sorry."

"How could you not tell me?" She said whipping around to face him. "How could you keep this from me?"

"Because of that—that look on your face. It's why I didn't say anything to you. I just…" Ben touched her shoulders. "I'm so sorry, Miranda."

"You should be."

"But I am so in love with you." He touched her face. "I want you to be happy."

"Ben, I…" He leaned in and kissed her. His lips touching hers shocked her system. Her hands found his waist and she held him close. They'd hugged before, but nothing like this. Nothing where she felt the need to never let him go. She'd imagined it so many times and each time it never seemed possible. Miranda felt the weight of his arms on her shoulders. He touched her hair and pulled it a little. The gesture ripped her from the kiss. "We can't. I am furious with you."

He smiled. "Okay, okay. I'm a bad, bad boy." She rolled her eyes and he tightened his grip on her, forcing her to look at him. _Those eyes._ The same ones that had aggravated her years ago were making her want to kiss him again and again. "But tell me you didn't feel it," he demanded.

"Feel what?"

"Us."


	5. I'm Ready

**I'm Ready**

"Ugh! You're getting on my damn nerves!" Miranda said as she put on her boots.

"Not as much as you're getting on mine," Ben said zipping up his coat.

"Shut up," she said hoping that her dismissal would end the conversation.

"No," he responded. Miranda hid a smirk. He walked to the door and opened it. "Ready?"

She sighed. "Let's go." The two of them walked across the snowy campus.

"I don't know why you couldn't just wait until Monday to get whatever it is that you needed to get." He shoved her playfully with his body.

"I need to return those library books."

"There's a blizzard."

"I guess someone doesn't want me to graduate."

"Of course I do." He bumped her again, her foot sliding over some ice. She lost her balance and he reached out and caught her. "Sorry."

"Yeah, right."

"Next time I'll let your ass fall."

"Jerk."

"Takes one to know one. And you're going the long way to Eldridge Hall."

"I'm not going the wrong way. I think I know how to get to Eldridge," she said, her scarf flying into her mouth.

"I said 'long'."

"Oh," she giggled.

Ben laughed along with her. "You never listen to anyone else."

She scoffed. "Why should I when I have the best ideas and the right opinions?" He touched her elbow. "What?"

"Kiss me, babe."

"It's cold."

"I'll warm you up," he said putting his gloved hands on her stomach.

Her body jumped and she moaned. "Bennn!"

He nuzzled her with his face. "Mmmhmm."

"Mmmhmm," she echoed. "Feels good." They kissed for a few minutes, ignoring the passage of time and the space that they took up on the sidewalk. After they'd kissed freshmen year, Miranda realized that, like Ben, she was all-in. Her feelings were real and he confirmed his by declaring his love to her every day. When they had gone home for the summer after that first year, no one seemed surprised that they were finally _a thing_. Raven had said that it was about damned time and said that if they hadn't made it official, she would have fought both of them. And falling into a new relationship made Miranda so happy. Ben was perfect. He'd promised to make her happy and had fulfilled his promise. When Ben held her hand, Miranda could feel her pulse sync with his. It felt so right. They'd been so worried about their friendship getting ruined, but they were wrong. Everything about it just got better. They knew each other so well. There wasn't anything that they couldn't say to each other. She smiled into his mouth thinking about it all. "I love you, it's the weirdest thing."

"That was random," he said. They kissed one last time. "My lips are frozen." Ben started to walk away and Miranda pulled him back.

"Come here," she baited. She stood on her toes and kissed him again, biting his bottom lip gently. Even through their many layers, she felt his body rise against hers. Her body grew hot; she felt like removing her clothes in the single digit weather. For the first time, she wanted a guy so badly that she didn't want to wait. She wanted to feel Ben's skin on hers and complete their connection. She wanted him. They'd talked about it over and over and over again; weighed the pros and cons and the answer, in her eyes at least, so simple. Miranda walked off leaving him, watching her.

When they got back to her dorm, she peeled off her jacket and put it on the back of her computer chair. She was glad that she didn't have a roommate. She and Ben had some things that they needed to discuss and interruptions would be a hindrance. "Ben…"

"You don't have to say anything or explain anything," he told her taking off his own jacket and sitting on the bed.

"You don't even know what I was going to say," she snapped. He made a face. She knew he knew. "I think I'm ready."

"Babe," he started. He scratched his head. "Miranda…" He did know what she was about to say.

"You don't want to?" She said softly. He patted the space next to him and she sat down. "I thought every guy wanted to hear that."

"I'm not every guy."

"No, you're not."

"And I do want to. I do, but I know how your mind works. And I know how you toss an idea around back and forth until you see all sides. But the only thing that matters is that I'll love you no matter what. There's no rush."

Miranda touched his chest and looked into his eyes. "I know." She rushed into a kiss, accidentally bumping their teeth together. "Sorry," she winced.

He laughed and kept kissing her. "I'm following your lead." She touched the bottom of his sweater and pulled it up and over his head. Her shirt followed. His hand in her pants made her tense up. They'd been in this position before, both near naked, both primed and ready for anything. And each time, she'd stopped herself from falling into something that was all she could about think about lately. Nineteen and still a virgin. It didn't embarrass her, but she didn't want to keep Ben or herself waiting any longer. He'd told her that he was a virgin, too. But she didn't quite believe him. He was one of the hottest guys in their high school and on their campus. He could have had his pick of any girl he wanted. "What are you saying?"

"Huh?"

"You're mumbling stuff."

"I am?"

He stopped kissing her and laughed again. "And, for the last time, I'm a virgin, too."

"You heard me say that?"

"Yes."

"You're the only girl I've ever wanted to touch or make love to," he said with a blush. She blushed, too. "I've been… saving myself for you."

"I feel the same way," she whispered. He kissed her chest and swiftly unhooked her bra. His tongue touched her nipples. Her heart was pounding and her thoughts were a mangled mess. Ben was doing all of the work. She couldn't concentrate. "Ben…"

He stopped again. "Are you okay?"

"I think I'm thinking too much," she admitted. Her lips went to his chest, her hands to the front of his pants.

"Probably, but it's okay." He was very understanding and Miranda loved that about him.

"No, it's not," she laughed. "I should want this."

He looked at her body, scanning her brown skin in the dim lights. "You do want it, babe. I can tell every time I do this." Ben bit his lip and then kissed her neck making her moan. "So know that I'm not pressuring you. That's not something that I'd do." Their eyes met and she smiled; she circled her fingers on his stomach.

"I know," Miranda said climbing on top of him. His body responded immediately. "I really do."


	6. Say You, Say Me

**Say You, Say Me**

"So he comes back into town and you're gonna have dinner with him—and then what?" Ben asked.

"Nothing. That's it. We're just catching up with each other," Miranda said for what seemed like the 100th time. "We asked if you wanted to come. You said no." She applied some lipstick in the mirror, not bothering to look at her boyfriend.

"And what else?"

"Nothing else on my end."

"You do know he's going to try and make a move, right? He wants you back," Ben said picking up a shirt off of his dorm floor and putting it on.

"How do you figure?"

"I just know," he mumbled.

Miranda walked over to him and moved behind him. She put her arms around his body. "He can want me all he wants. He can tell me he loves me and that he can treat me better, but you know what I'll be thinking about?" She asked. She felt his body move under his sigh.

"What?"

"You."

"Then why go at all?" He responded turning around in her arms.

"Because he's an old friend and I agreed before I knew that you were so against me going."

"I'm not against—"

"Yes, you are."

"I'm not."

"You're jealous," Miranda volleyed with a smile in her eyes. He started to speak and she cut him off. "And it's so sexy that I can't wait to get back."

Ben laughed. His first one in hours. "My bad. I need to get my head back on straight. I shouldn't be jealous of that chump."

She sucked her teeth. "That's not nice. Don't call him that."

"He punches like one."

"Oh, yeah, y'all did fight." She shook her head. "So embarrassing."

"So fighting for your honor is embarrassing?"

Miranda shrugged," Yes."

He looked at the time. "Shouldn't you be getting out of here?"

"Now you're trying to kick me out?" He nodded. "Got someone coming over?" He shrugged. "Don't play with me, Ben Warren."

He leaned in to kiss her. "Now who's the jealous one?"

"Don't nobody want you," she said, moving away from his kiss. Ben chuckled as they walked out of his bedroom to the common room.

"Santana still does."

Miranda gritted her teeth. Hearing the name of the girl who had worked double time trying to get Ben's attention ticked her off. "You know what? I might not come back tonight. I'll sleep at my place."

"Stop. Stop. Stop. I'm kidding." She cut her eyes at him. "Poor joke?"

She continued to look at him. "Yes. And rude. Weirdo."

"Now that was rude," he laughed. Ben touched her waist and guided her to the door. "Go. Have fun. I will be here, alone, waiting for you to get back. Alone." He kissed her again before he walked her down to the front. Steve was waiting in the front of the building. "What's going on, sir?"

"Nothing much, young fella," Steve said as he was getting out of the car. Miranda felt Ben's arm drape around her. The men shook hands, amicably.

"What am I?" Miranda asked turning the attention back to her.

"Beautiful as ever," Steve answered. Ben's arm tightened. Steve held out his arms and she walked into them. "Hey, Mandy."

She laughed. "No one around here calls me that."

Steve laughed, too. "Well, that just goes to show how far we go back."

She pushed him. "Let's go."

"Okay." Steve waved to Ben.

"Take care of my girl," Ben told him, tipping an imaginary hat.

"Of course," Steve responded. He walked around his car and got under the wheel.

Miranda turned around and kissed Ben. "See, nothing."

Ben stomped around loudly. "You told me nothing would happen."

"Benjamin, nothing did."

"I watched him kiss you Miranda—on the lips."

"It was a peck, Ben. And, if it makes you feel better, his aim was shoddy and it was more on my cheek than my lips."

"Don't make fun."

"Sorry," she said looking at his angered face. "He apologized after."

"He did?"

"Yeah, after I told him about himself," she said. Ben laughed as Miranda shook her head remembering the event: After dinner, the she and Steve headed back her school. The car stopped and he walked around it and opened her door. "Dinner was great," she told Steve.

"Yes, it was," he agreed.

"Thanks," she said hugging him. He leaned in to kiss her and before she could stop him, his lips landed on the corner of her mouth. She put her hands on his chest and moved him back. "What are you doing?" She was pissed.

"Kissing a very beautiful woman." His response had her heart race and her palms sweat. She touched her stomach. "You feel it, don't you? The butterflies in your stomach."

She shook her head. "Those aren't butterflies; that is me distracting myself so I don't slap you." He took a step back and brushed against the car. "Steve, what…"

"I'm sorry… I thought…"

"You thought what?"

"You came to dinner with me." He looked at his watch and smiled quickly. "We talked all night. I still love you. No other girl has compared to you—the relationship that we had."

"I don't even know how to respond to that." He smiled and stood in front of her. "But I agreed to dinner because I haven't seen you in a long time and I wanted to see how you were doing." He nodded slowly, his realization evident on his face. "And because we're friends. I am in love with my boyfriend," Miranda said smiling genuinely. She really was.

Steve apologized profusely, "Mandy, I am so sorry. That was terrible."

"Not that terrible," she said making them laugh and breaking the tension.

He apologized again and she waved him off. "No… problem. Just don't do it again."

"Scout's honor," he responded holding up three fingers. "Please don't tell Ben. I could already tell that he was wary of us having dinner."

She laughed. "I have to."

"But he might fight me again."

"He's passionate about me," she told him. They laughed again. They really were friends. And that was enough for her. "And I'll make sure he won't."

"Good. Thanks See you around, Mandy." Steve hugged her again and then he was gone.

"Miranda…," Ben said bringing her back to reality.

"Don't. Don't finish that sentence." He sighed loudly. Miranda ignored it and continued: "Where am I?"

"What?"

"Where am I?" She asked again.

"In my room?" He said, confused.

"And why is that?" He shook his head, shrugging. He was so annoyed and it was turning her on so much. "Because this is where I want to be."

"But…"

"I want to be with you. I am with you."

"I love you."

"I love you, too," she said.

"Did you kiss him back?" He asked, half-joking.

"Yes, all night long. I'm actually back at his place doing him right now. Hard."

"Shut up," he laughed squeezing her hips. Ben kissed her neck. He moved her back to the bed and pushed her down. He kissed her inner thigh, taking control of the night. "Is he doing you like this?"

Miranda grabbed his head. "No, he most certainly is not," she whispered.


	7. Two in a Million

**Two in a Million**

"Please!" Miranda purred into Ben's ear.

"No more. I'm done! Jesus, baby!" he said falling onto his back.

"Lightweight," she answered. She pulled the covers up to her face.

"How many damn times can we christen an apartment?"

"Apparently, seven." Miranda put her head on his shoulder and played with his chest hair. She loved how she could tell exactly where his body had changed from the nineteen-year old boy who'd kissed her first, turning her predictable world upside down. He was not only her best friend, but her lover—the best of both worlds.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Yeah, babe?" Her voice equally low.

"How?"

"How what?"

"How did I get you?"

Miranda bit the corner of her bottom lip and blushed. "Birthday wishes."

"Whaaa?" He said looking over at her. She giggled.

"You told me at my thirteenth birthday party that you wished for a friend."

"And?"

"And I wished for the same thing that you did: a friend who would always be by my side. Something corny like that," she told him. "And maybe for my parents to let me go out with Steve." They cracked up at the mention of her ex-boyfriend.

"So you picked Steve over me?" She kicked him. "Ohh!" He yelled putting a hand to his chest. "You wanted him more, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did," she said. She fingered his skin. Her eyes started to close and she felt the bed move as he shifted his body.

"I am exhausted," he said after a while.

"That's what you get for changing my mind and convincing me to have sex after a long day of moving!" She told him with a yawn.

"I did no such thing," Ben commented, putting his large hands on her thighs. She gasped. He knew that was her weak spot. His hands caressed her legs sending tingles up and down her body.

"Your eyes and hands said it all," she said softly.

"What are they saying now?" He asked. She reached up and touched his cheek, peering into his eyes.

"That you love me."

"Close."

She rolled her eyes. "Then what is it?"

"That I'm happy to be here with you. In our new apartment, starting our life together."

She smiled widely. "Baby." He kissed down her body and put his head on her stomach. "Mmmhm, look at you. I thought you were _exhausted_."

"I am."

"Then what are you doing down there?" She said making circles on his back. He looked up at her and stuck out his bottom lip. "You are so damn odd!"

"I thought I was weird."

She gave him a half-smile. "You're that, too."


	8. As She's Walking Away

**As She's Walking Away**

"Are you saying it's not going to work?" Ben asked Miranda.

"I'm saying that I asked for space," she responded.

He paced. "You're mad?"

"Of course I am!" She yelled. She raked her hands through her hair messing up her ponytail. She'd already passed "mad".

"Miranda, you're overreacting," he told her. Ben took a step in her direction. She stepped back and glared at him. "I didn't mean it like that."

"So you weren't flirting with another woman?"

He sighed. "Flirting is such a strong word."

"But, in this case, it seems like the right one." He screwed up his face and she resisted the urge to smile. This was serious. When she'd walked into Ben's office and saw a woman bent over his desk, laughing, her skirt pulled up higher than what was considered normal or professional, Miranda's first thought was to not panic. She just knew whatever they were talking about was business only and she moved to look at Ben's face. And she saw it. The smile that she thought was just for her. The one that made her melt, even then while he was giving it to someone else. He was enjoying the extra special attention. She'd walked out of the room feeling more than disappointed. At home, she'd started packing some of her stuff. Miranda had called Raven and asked if she could stay there for a couple of days. Ben had come home just as she was leaving and convinced her not to leave. But every time she looked at him, she became aggravated. "I need space and time," she'd told him.

"No," he'd begged. "Let me explain." And he did. But she was still pissed. "Miranda…" Ben's voice brought her back to the present. He touched her hands.

"I'm going to Raven's," she said. She picked up her bags. "I'll be back sometime this week."

"Don't do this."

"Put yourself in my shoes."

He inhaled. "I'm sorry."

"You've said that." Miranda walked out of the door.

Her second night at Raven's house, she sat in the living room eating. "Sublimating your rage with pie?" Miranda cut her eyes at her cousin. "Unh-uh, save that look for your man."

Miranda bit the inside of her lip. "My bad."

"Finally ready to talk?" Miranda nodded and told her the story. "Doesn't sound too bad."

"I thought you'd be on my side," she said.

"I am. No doubt, but he wasn't—"

"He allowed her to sit on the edge of his desk _like that_ and…"

"And what?"

"He smiled at her."

"Miranda! I've seen you bat your lashes at waiters to get extra stuff and workers at stores and smile at guys when we go out—"

"It's not the same."

"Says who?" Raven challenged.

"You didn't see the way that woman was all over him."

"You're jealous."

"I am not," Miranda said folding her arms. Raven gave her a look. The older one knew the younger one so well, she didn't even have to respond. "Maybe I am."

"And I don't think you have a reason to be. Ben adores you. I've seen that shrine he has of you." The women laughed.

"You like him more than you like me."

"Maybe."

"I'm not apologizing to him," Miranda told her firmly.

"You don't have to, but you do have to talk to him."

"Why? He should be the one who does all of the talking."

"Mandy! If you don't stop, your jealousy is going to ruin your relationship."

"I know. I know. I just get… insecure sometimes."

Raven nudged Miranda with her shoulder. "Aren't we all?" Raven said semi-confessing. She shook her head. "But Ben has never done anything to break your complete trust. Am I right?"

"Possibly," Miranda said stretching out the word. She sighed. "When did you become so wise?"

"When you have two small children, you learn a lot." There was a knock on the door. Raven checked the time. "It's eleven o'clock, who in the world is that?" The knocking continued.

"It's probably Ben," Miranda said sarcastically.

Raven got up and answered the door. "Hey, Ben." Miranda spooned some more pie into her mouth and listened to the conversation.

"Hey, Raven. Is she here? Can I talk to her? Does she want to see me? I need to talk to her."

"Slow down there," Raven laughed. "Of course she's here.

"Does she want to see me?"

Miranda got off of the sofa and moved toward the door and saw Raven hit Ben. "How could you?" She whispered.

"I did nothing. I was sitting in my chair. The girl was… leaning on my desk. What Miranda didn't see was me getting out of my chair and ushering her out of the door once I saw what she was doing."

"But you smiled at her," Miranda commented coming into full view.

"I smile at everyone," he told her. Raven slinked out of the foyer. He smiled at Miranda. "See?"

"That's not the one you gave her." He smiled at her again. "That's the one."

"Oh, girl," he said touching her waist. "That's my fake flirting smile. That's not my Miranda smile."

"Shut up."

He leaned in to kiss her cheek. She stopped him. "Come home."

"Show me my smile." Ben licked his lips as a slow smile eased across his face; he squinted and looked down at her. Butterflies flew around in her stomach.

"Can you tell the difference?"

She twisted her lips to the side. "Shut up," she said again.

Ben put his lips on her neck. "I love you, baby." She mumbled incoherently. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

"I know," she told him.

"I wouldn't cheat on you."

She nodded slowly. "I know," she repeated.

"Good, then come home."

"Wait, I have a question."

"Anything."

"When I saw you… the look in your eyes… in your office…," she stopped talking and gathered her thoughts. "Do I not give you enough attention?" He tilted his head. "I saw how much you liked her leaning over your desk, smiling at you…" Ben licked his lips and Miranda's heart jumped. She continued: "And I have to admit that I am a little insecure when it comes to us. I don't want to be made a fool of and—"

"Okay, I'm going to stop you there." He picked up her hands. "Let me make this perfectly clear. I wouldn't make a fool of you. And smiling at other women, doesn't mean I want them. I don't." He locked their hands together. "I only want you. And I'll say it as much as you need me to and as loud or as soft as you need me to." She smiled. "Now, come home?" She poked her lips out. "What? What now, Miranda? What now?"

"I just want to know how you're going to make it up to me?"

"God, woman, you are so spoiled." She giggled softly as he put his lips to her ear. He licked her lobe. "I'll start by kissing every inch of your body until you squirm, begging me to continue."

"And then?"

"Then, hmmm, let me see," Ben kissed her chin. "And I'll lick between your legs and you'll clasp my head with your thick ass thighs and—"

Miranda pushed his chest. "Okay, okay, okay." Her body was aching for his already. Makeup sex, she'd learned, almost made the fighting worth it. She kissed him again. "Get my bags." Ben didn't move, but kept kissing her.

Eddie walked down the stairs on his way to the kitchen. "Get a room, you two," he said chuckling. Miranda wiped the corners of Ben's mouth. He shook hands with Ben.

"We're leaving," she said. "Can you tell Raven?"

"Sure thing, Randy," Eddie kissed her cheek. "Glad you guys have made up."

At home, Ben hovered over Miranda with one hand on the bed. "Ready?" He asked stroking her cheek. She nodded. Ben dipped his body into hers and she squeezed, inhaling all of him.

"Goddamn, Ben."

He smiled. "I love hearing you say that."

"You are… so weird," she said as he moved deeper into her, making her scream. He laughed, disturbing his rhythm. She laughed, too.

When they came down from their high, Ben pushed some of her hair off of her forehead: "I don't want to lose us again. Even if it's for a few days."

"Me either."

"Then don't leave next time. We can work through anything, baby."

"Anything?"

"Yes," he said fiercely.

"Okay," she said softly. "But I am territorial."

"So am I, so I will keep my distance," he promised. He leaned over and kissed her chest. She pushed his head. "What?"

"Jerk."

"You are, too." She raised her eyebrows. "You ran to Raven and didn't even let us have a conversation."

"I was upset."

"I'm your best friend, you could have talked to me."

"You're the one I was upset with."

"Point taken. But even though I still want you attempt."

"Fine," she sighed dramatically. "I'll try."

"That's all I ask," he said. "Now, get up here." She squealed as he pulled her on top of him.


	9. So Not My Baby

**So Not My Baby**

"Mhello?" Ben said picking up the phone, groggily.

Miranda rolled against his back. She kissed it and felt him shudder. They'd fallen into bed, naked, with every intention of making love, but had failed. After foreplay, they'd dozed off. She smiled. "Who is it?" Ben didn't answer. The bed moved as he shook his head furiously. "Benjamin."

"Okay. We'll be right there," he put the phone on the receiver.

"Who was that?"

"Raven," he said getting out of bed. "C'mon."

"I'm gonna need more than 'Raven'," she said sitting up, worried.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Ben said pulling on sweatpants.

"I hope you're gonna put on some boxers," Miranda told him with a smile. "I don't want every woman seeing what's mine."

"Yours, huh?" He crawled onto the bed and kissed her, pulling the covers off her body, revealing her naked body. The early morning air chilled her body. He looked down at her as if deciding if leaving their room was worth going to wherever Raven was.

"Stop! Why was Raven calling?" She put the covers back over her body.

"She's going into labor," he told her casually.

Miranda jumped out of the bed. Her cousin was pregnant for the third time and was finally getting her little girl. "Where's Eddie? Which hospital? Where's EJ and Shakai?"

Ben touched her shoulders, trying to calm her down. He kissed her softly. "Eddie's out of town visiting his parents with the boys. And she's at Mercy Medical."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she called for you, Miranda. We gotta go."

At the hospital, they found Raven's room. "You guys made it!" Raven shouted.

"Of course," Miranda hugged her older cousin. The closest thing she had to a sibling, to a sister.

"I told you we would be," Ben said hugging her.

"Eddie's gone and I'm all alone."

"No, you're not," Miranda said to Raven. "You can yell at us like you would Eddie and I'll hold your hand." She picked up her cousin's hand just as a contraction came. Raven squeezed hard.

"Take my hand, too," Ben said grinning at his grimacing girlfriend across the laboring woman. Miranda laughed.

Raven's face showed her confusion: "This is funny to you?"

"No," Miranda responded, laughing harder. Ben started, too. Raven looked from one to the other, shocked.

"Miranda! Stop!" Ben said, falling into the chair next to the bed.

"I can't stop," Miranda responded, putting her hand on her stomach. She really couldn't. And every time she looked at Raven's bewildered face, she laughed louder. "Re-remember that time we went to that party and you left without your shoes?" She pointed at Raven.

The woman's face broke into a smile. "And I wasn't even drinking that night either." She chuckled. "How'd you let me leave without my shoes?" Miranda shrugged, tears coming from her eyes.

The doctor walked into the room. "Oh, good!" She said clapping. "You're laughing." She looked from Ben to Miranda. "I couldn't get Raven here to break a smile." Miranda smiled. "I'm Dr. Montgomery."

"Well," Raven said eyeing the doctor. "Nothing's funny about going into labor when you're home alone."

"Aye! What about when we convinced Miranda that she could operate the TV by touching it?" Ben said talking out the corner of his mouth.

"Assholes. Excuse my language," Miranda said apologizing to the doctor.

The redheaded doctor waved her off. "How'd you guys manage that?" She asked curiously. She put a pair of gloves on her pale hands. "I'm just going to do an exam right now."

"Well," Raven started. "We told her she could change the channel and volume by pressing certain parts of the screen. Obviously, she thought we were lying. Then she touched the screen, jokingly, and I would use the remote to change the channel."

Miranda rolled her eyes as Ben continued: "And you should have seen her face! She just couldn't believe it. And she kept touching the screen, 'turning up the volume' and 'going 'On Demand''." He looked over at Miranda who'd finally stopped laughing. "It was hilarious." Raven's pain abandoned her as she howled with laughter.

"What happened when you found that they were playing you?" Dr. Montgomery asked, touching Raven's stomach.

"I didn't talk to these two fools for like a week," Miranda said. Everyone laughed.

"Okay, Raven. Everything looks good. Can I talk to your…"

"Cousins," Raven finished.

"Yes, your cousins for a second?"

"Sure! And can I have some ice chips?" Raven asked.

"All you have to do is touch your stomach to get them," Miranda said walking out of the door.

"So, while I'm sorry that Eddie's not here, I'm glad you two are. Keep her laughing. It's good for labor. Makes it more, um, pleasurable," Dr. Montgomery told them with a slight chuckle.

"More pleasurable than a baby ejecting itself from her body?" Miranda asked. Ben shook his head and laughed.

"Maybe that's not the right word," Dr. Montgomery said with a laugh of her own.

"Is there anything else we can do?" Ben asked. He put his arm around Miranda.

"Just be there for her, support her and don't piss her off." They nodded.

"Thank you, doctor," Miranda said. Dr. Montgomery smiled and walked away.

"Ejecting?" Ben scrunched up his face. "That was one visual I did not need," he told her. Miranda shrugged.

In the delivery room, the doctor was shouting over Raven's groans: "Okay, Raven, maybe two little pushes, okay?" She dipped her head between the woman's legs. "Or one big one! C'mon! You got this!"

"I want Eddie," Raven whined, she was sweating profusely, her head lolling. "He's supposed to be here. Did someone call him? Is he coming?"

Miranda looked at Ben and down to Raven. "Yes, we called him. He is on his way. And he can't wait to meet his daughter."

"C'mon, Raven," Ben said holding her hand tightly.

"Now, push, Raven!" Dr. Montgomery said.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Raven said giving everything she had. She lay back, exhausted. "OH GOD!"

"That's it! That's it!" The doctor exclaimed. "Well done! Well done, mom! Here she is!"

"She's here?" Raven said.

Miranda felt tears in her eyes, mixing with her own sweat. She looked down at her newest cousin. "You were perfect. She's perfect, Raven."

"She is so beautiful, Raven. So beautiful." He kissed Raven on the head as the tears streamed down the mother's face, unabashedly. He looked at Miranda and he mouthed: _I love you_. She winked at him and turned her attention back to Raven and the baby.

Back in Raven's room, Miranda leaned against a sleeping Ben. She was so tired and tried to close her eyes, but she was too excited. "Mandy?" Raven said.

Miranda popped up. "Yeah?"

"Is Eddie here yet?"

"No, not yet. I'll call him again if you want."

"Please?" Raven asked. Miranda left the room and when she returned, Raven waved her over: "Mandy."

Miranda moved to Raven's bedside. "What's up?"

"I want to run something by you."

"Okay."

"I want you to be Ariana's godmother."

Miranda smiled widely. "Seriously?" She put her hands to her mouth. "Are you serious? Or are you still out of it and talking out of your head."

"I'm functionally fully and this is what I want. Eddie and I have already talked about it. I could have made you EJ's godparent, but Uncle Will and Auntie Lena are my rocks." Miranda nodded. "And Eddie chose for Shakai, but we both picked you for Ariana. We know she'll be in good hands with you. Plus, you've been here all night and you let me squeeze your hands into oblivion."

The younger woman started to tear up. "I accept! Yes!" She shouted, hugging her cousin.

"Thank you," Raven replied with tears in her own eyes.

"For what?" Ben said waking up.

"I'm going to be Ariana's godmother," Miranda gushed.

"Oh, cool, baby," Ben told her walking up beside her. "Congratulations."

"Why thank you," she said taking his hand.

He squeezed her hips, making her grin. It was the small gestures that turned her on the most. "You'll be great," he whispered in her ear.

"She's going to be amazing," Raven echoed.

"And when we get married, she'll become your goddaughter, too." The cousins shared a look and cracked up as Ben started to lose the color in his face.

"Alright now, y'all two go somewhere. I need some rest," Raven said shooing them away. The three of them laughed again.

"So, uh, what are we laughing about?" Eddie said bursting in the room.

"Baby!" Raven cried. "Eddie! God! I had her already and you weren't even here."

"I know. I know, but I saw her. And she is gorgeous, just like her mother," Eddie smoothed Raven's head and kissed her. He turned to the other two in the room. "Thank you guys for being here. It means so much to us." They said it was no problem. "Randy, did my wife tell you about what we were thinking?"

"Yes! She just told me," Miranda squealed. "I'm honored."

He hugged her. "Thanks so much."

"Wait, where are my sons?"

"Oh, they're sleeping just outside."

"How are your parents?"

"Fine. They'll be here next week." Raven and Eddie shared another tearful kiss and Miranda and Ben slinked out of the room to give them more privacy.

In the hallway, Ben held Miranda's hand, their palms touching. He stopped walking. "What?" She said staring at him.

"You know when you give birth to our children, I will be there."

She smiled. "You'd better, you weirdo. Although you turned the color of these walls when I mentioned marriage before," she said.

"Only for a second," he countered with a smile. "But, uh, you know, I'll be holding your hand and wiping your head and driving you crazy as I try to comfort you although I'm sure that nothing will work."

She stood on her toes to kiss him again. She paused before putting her lips on him. "Wait… so we're having kids?" She pushed him and he grabbed her hands and pulled her into his chest. A soft kiss turned into a short and fiery one.

They stopped kissing and Ben put one arm around Miranda's neck and she put an arm around his waist as they walked to the vending machine. "Sure thing. With our looks and intelligence, we'd be selfish to deprive the world of our kids, wouldn't we?"


	10. Check Yes or No

**Check Yes or No**

"Yes," Miranda said firmly.

"So, you admit to making way more money than you told me when we talked?" Ben asked putting his hands on his hips. He paced around their small living room, disappointed.

"Not _way more_ , but y-yeah—I was going to tell you."

"Eventually?" Ben scoffed.

"Yeah. Something like that," she admitted. "But you wouldn't even know that there was something to tell if you weren't being weird and snooping around my stuff!" She argued, pointing at him.

"Snooping!? You left your damn papers all over the table," he countered.

"Not for you to look at, Ben." She moved in his direction. The anger in his eyes matched hers. "My papers were personal. You knew they weren't yours." She knew she was wrong, but she also hoped that she could put the blame on him.

"Don't try to turn this around, you lied to me!"

"No, I didn't!"

"Miranda!" He yelled throwing up his hands. She flinched. It was a reflex. She didn't honestly think that he'd hit her and she suddenly felt awful. She hoped he hadn't noticed. His voice softened. "Miranda…"

"I…," she started. "I'm… sorry, okay? I know how hard you work and you're still in the same position you were a year ago. And, promotions keep getting thrown at me. I didn't want to make you insecure."

He shook his head. "Damn that. Did you just jump when I raised my hands?" He asked. He stuffed his hands in his pocket. His face looked so sad, she wanted to cry. Miranda sighed. "Babe?" She turned her back and walked into the kitchen. She could hear his bare feet on the hardwood floor and then on the linoleum. Ben touched her shoulders. "I would _never_ put my hands on you maliciously. I mean, y-you know that, right? I wouldn't hit you. I just wouldn't…"

"I know."

"But you—"

She faced him. "It was just a reaction." She chuckled nervously. His face was still and his eyes were lowered. "I know you. I know you wouldn't. That's not something that I'm worried about."

"You promise?" He said raising an eyebrow.

"I promise," she echoed. He sat down in the chair and Miranda sat next to him. "I know you must be pissed because I'm pissed at myself." She sat down next to him.

"Just tell me the truth from now on. I deserve that."

"You do." Ben sighed and gestured for her to come over to him. He pulled her into his lap; his body adjusted to hers. Ben put his face into the nape of her neck. She sighed and whispered, "Forgive me." There was no question, no asking. She demanded. She needed him to forgive her. "Forgive me because you know me. And I made a mistake. I should have told you."

"Of course, I forgive you, baby," he confirmed kissing her softly. "Do you forgive me?"

"For what?"

"Yelling. For—"

Miranda put a finger to his lips: "Shhh. Just kiss me."


	11. In a Real Love

**In a Real Love**

"Your dad hates me," Ben said.

"He loves you," Miranda told her boyfriend, touching the front of his shirt, listening to him groan. Ben hardly ever got rattled, but whenever he was in the presence of her father, he shrunk an inch.

"Yeah, right."

"Because you love me." Out of habit, Miranda turned the knob and found that it was locked. She reached in her purse for the key to her parent's house. The knob jiggled.

"C'mon in, ya'll," Elena said opening the door for them. Miranda stepped into her childhood home first followed by Ben. She looked around, not much had changed, but living away from home since college had made everything seem different.

"Hey, mama," she said hugging and kissing her mother's cheek. "How are you?"

"I'm good, daughter of mine."

"Mrs. Bailey," Ben said.

"Ben, I swear. Call me, Elena. You're old enough now," Elena told him, taking his coat.

"I just don't want you to jump me," he said hugging the older woman. She hit his shoulder. "See!"

"I thought I heard voices," William said coming out of the kitchen. He threw a towel over his shoulder. "Little girl."

"Daddy," she said moving to her father. She put her arms around him and he hugged her tightly. "What's up?"

"Nothing much. I see you brought your knucklehead of a boyfriend," he said for only her to hear.

"Be nice. He already thinks you don't like him," Miranda responded. "And your chest?" She asked dropping her arms. Her father had just had a minor heart attack.

"Everything is still ticking in there," William said tapping his chest and making the other two laugh. Miranda rolled her eyes. "Hello, Ben."

The two men shook hands. "Mr. Bailey or can I call you William?" Ben looked between Elena and Miranda and back to William. The older man didn't answer.

"Of course, you can call him William," Elena said taking the towel from her husband's shoulder and hitting him with it.

"Ready for dinner?" William asked.

"Yes!" They responded.

Miranda followed behind Elena into the kitchen. "I thought daddy was cooking."

"Yeah, the meat. You know that man can't make macaroni and cheese or yams to save his life." Miranda giggled. The two women talked as the sides finished cooking. "Go and tell them to get ready."

She left the kitchen and walked toward the living room. Only the TV provided sound. She started to round the corner when she heard Ben speak: "She really is incredible, you know?"

"Excuse me?" William said. Miranda could tell that he was genuinely confused.

"Your daughter. Miranda. She—I love her."

"I know. And she loves you, too. I can see it." William said. Miranda moved stealthily against the wall so that she could get a view of her father and her boyfriend while staying out of sight.

"And William, just so you know, I have the very of intentions being in love with Miranda."

William rubbed his head and looked at Ben. "Look, as far as any guy I'd want my daughter with, you're…" He sighed. "Pretty good."

Ben chuckled. "Woah, it almost sounds as though you like me." He smiled.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, knucklehead," William laughed. The younger man joined in. "As long as you continue to make her happy, Ben, I'll like you."

"Yes, sir."

Miranda smiled and made a bunch of noise to let them know someone was coming. Ben stood up as she walked into the room. "Food's almost finished."

While they had dessert and coffee after dinner, Elena asked, bluntly: "So, do you two have any plans to get married?"

"Mama!" Miranda said blushing.

Elena didn't notice and continued: "In a year or two? Because if that's the case, we need to get started on the planning now."

"What about kids?" William added.

"Yes! And about how many?" Elena asked.

"What? Why? Mama! Daddy!" Miranda screeched. She glanced quickly at Ben who was eating his apple pie, unbothered.

"We're making wills and need to know what we should be prepared for."

"What are you two doing?" Miranda asked looking at her parents.

"We just want to know what the future holds for Miranda and Ben?" Elena said sipping her coffee. _Ambushed_. That's how she felt right now. Her heart was pounding and in addition to turning red, she was seeing red.

"Are you guys looking for a house?" Miranda's father asked. "We can help, I know a guy."

"Excuse us for a second, parents." In her old bedroom, Miranda walked back and forth, annoyed. Ben cleared his throat and smiled down at her. "Why are you smiling?" She asked.

"Why aren't you?" He responded.

"Because they're making wills and asking questions about stuff we haven't even really… I mean, seriously, talked about."

He sat on the bed and lay back. "We've been together for a while—since college—I assumed you knew that marriage was somewhere on the table."

"How could I know that?" She asked standing over him.

"Don't you want to get married to me?"

She bounced from foot to foot. "Yeah, I guess. Sure. That's not the point."

He smiled. "And we talked about having kids when Ariana was born."

She nodded slowly, "But that was in jest, not anything for real." He rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "It's like when men propose to women after great sex."

Ben laughed, uncontrollably. "Miranda…" She pushed him and motioned for him to move over and got into bed beside him, putting her head on his chest. "So, let's move in together. Let's start looking at houses and going to open houses. We can't afford one _now_ , but we'll be able to—eventually."

"Are you being serious?" She squinted at him, trying to see if he was lying. "Like really serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious, baby. You're the only woman I want to build a future with. I am in this. One hundred perfect. I assume you feel the same."

Miranda leaned over and kissed him. "Maybe."

They were quiet for a long time. "So, do you want to have sex in your childhood bedroom?" Ben asked.

"You are so damn weird! And tactless," Miranda added as he slid a hand up her skirt. She gasped and squeezed her legs together. "Stop."

He put his hand to her mouth. "Your parents are going to hear us." He touched her gently between her thighs and she squirmed. He kissed her and rolled off of the bed. Ben held out a hand for her. "Ready to go and face your parents?"

"Only if you're by my side?" Miranda said.

"No doubt," he reassured her pulling her out of the room.


	12. My Heart is Calling

**My Heart is Calling**

"Where do you want to go?" Miranda asked Ben, turning down the street. They'd just left their house and were headed out for a special night on the town. The romance had been dying down recently. Their lovemaking was minimal and definitely not the three times a day that they'd promised each other when they'd first moved into the house. They were both so busy with work that they weren't putting in the effort to make their love work. And like the mature adults they'd grown to be, they both could admit that there was a problem and take their fair share of blame for it. Miranda had suggested that they start a Wednesday date night. She drove through the city.

"I don't mind," he said picking up her hand. He kissed it. "Wherever you want to go is fine." She sighed and kept driving, ignoring the lights of a dozen restaurants. None of them seemed right or good enough for the night that they needed. "Maybe we should just go back home?"

She pulled up to a red light and shrugged. "I guess."

"You're mad?"

"No, Ben, I'm not."

"Then?"

"I'm kind of indifferent—and I never want to feel that way about us."

"We're both tired, Miranda."

"We're way too young. We shouldn't be 'tired'," she said gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"Baby, we're...," he sighed heavily. "We work extremely hard."

She stopped talking and shrugged. Maybe that's what it was. An older version of herself would have given him a run for his money, gone back and forth with him until he conceded. But, she didn't feel like doing that. Her revelation made her brain spin. She just didn't care to do it anymore. She drove back to their house and parked in the driveway. "Are we broken?"

He scoffed. "No, of course not. It just takes time to get back into the groove." He turned to her and kissed her bare shoulder. The dress she had on was one that she'd chosen specifically for tonight. It was supposed to be seen on a dance floor in some expensive restaurant—maybe dropped to the floor of their living room as they made love on the sofa, unable to make it to their room, not still in the car, driving around town. Miranda touched his head and looked into his eyes; where she felt despondent, his eyes were full of hope.

"No, let's go inside."

"You still love me?"

"Maybe," she answered, a smile moving across her face. "Depends on how the night ends."

"Come on inside, I'll make us a romantic dinner. And I promise to get us back to _us_."

He got out of the car and opened the driver's door. "Thank you, babe."

He pulled her into his arms. "Let's start," he said kissing her softly "Right now." They walked up the steps. He searched his dark blue dress pants for his keys. "Damn. Got yours?"

She nodded and stepped around him. "Seriously?" She shook her head. "I had to drive, I have to open the door, where is the gentleman I married, hunh?" He shrugged. "Weirdo." The two of them laughed as she pushed open the door. "What the—?" The entire first floor was filled with flowers and balloons. She couldn't believe it. It was all so gorgeous. And there were five huge picture frames sitting on stands. Each one was covered. Miranda was so eager to know what was going on and what was underneath the cloths, but she stayed patient—her heart beating swiftly. "What is this?"

"What?" He said widening the door and coming in the house. "Wow. You did this?"

She hit him. "No, cheeky!" She laughed nervously, a lump forming in her throat. "You did this. What is this?"

"Don't you know a proposal happening when you see one?" He said touching her waist, making her tense up.

"What are you talking about?"

"I want to marry you, Miranda."

She bit her lip. "You do?"

"I do. You know that," he said flashing the smile that had driven her crazy all of these years. "Do you want to marry me?" He asked, guiding her to the first stand.

"We'll see." Making her way to the first picture, she touched the ribbon of one of the balloons and pulled it down. A card was attached to it. She noticed Ben's scratchy handwriting and gasped. "Reason #6 Why I Love You: You always take care of me." Miranda laughed and showed him the balloon. "I do?" A wide smile crossed his face. "Is this true?"

He nodded. "Yes, it is." She took a deep breath to postpone the tears. The balloon rose to the ceiling. "So, um, these five pictures are just some of—in my humble opinion—our best moments in our friendship and in our relationship. We've known each other for how long?"

She rolled her eyes. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

Miranda sighed and looked at him. "About… twenty years," she answered wistfully.

He nodded. "Twenty years. So these pictures are kind of like our greatest hits." He bit his bottom lip and raised an eyebrow. "And I just want to tell you, before we start, that you look so beautiful, baby."

"Thank you, Ben." He took the cloth off of the first picture and she smiled up at him. Her hands went to her mouth as she looked at the first picture. "Raven."

"She is my favorite cousin."

"She's _my_ favorite cousin."

"So Eddie and Raven let me borrow their wedding tape and I was able to get some good shots of us dancing. Well, you were dancing; I just bobbed around on the dance floor, trying to impress you." Miranda giggled as she looked at the seven year olds, five feet apart, holding onto each other.

"We are too cute," she said.

"This is the first time I danced with my future wife." He put his arm around her waist and pulled her in. He ushered her to the next frame. "Okay, this one I got from your parents. Your dad lent me his copy of your thirteenth birthday party."

"Oh, yeah! He recorded it. I hope you didn't watch the whole thing."

"You know I did." Miranda shook her head. "There were so many good moments."

"Which one did you choose?" Ben wiggled his eyebrows and dropped the silk cloth to the floor. Thirteen year old Miranda's face was screwed up and Ben had a knowing smirk on his face. They were both eating from the small plate he held. "I want to cry."

"Why?" He asked kissing her cheek.

"Because I love you so much. This is so beautiful. I remember this. This is when I _kinda_ liked you, but I was madly in love with Steve."

He slapped her butt playfully and touched the top of the next frame. "You are going to love this one."

"Oh, gosh!" She said preparing herself. Under the thin fabric was a picture of a teenaged Miranda kissing Ben on the cheek the day before their Senior Prom. A tear escaped her eye as she reached for his hand, locking them together. "I don't even remember kissing you. Is this a real picture?"

He nodded. "Yeah, my mom said she took this accidentally," he said pointing to the picture. Julia was so funny. The unfocused picture was exactly something she'd capture. "I don't recall you doing this either. I think I would remember this."

"Oh, cut it out," she said blushing. Ben kissed her cheek. "That wasn't the first time I kissed your cheek. By the time this picture was taken, I was doing it all of the time."

"No, you weren't."

"Yes, I was," she said putting her hands on her hips.

"Nope."

"Ugh! Ask Beth," Miranda argued. "She used to tell me to stop doing it so much because Steve would get jealous."

"It was too late for that," Ben said laughing. _Way too late_ , she thought. Once Ben had come back to town, they were glued at the hip. And she started falling for him every day.

"So, what's the last picture?" She asked with her heart rate speeding up. Ben said nothing and slipped the silk cloth off. The picture showed her caught off-guard looking at herself in their full-length mirror. Ben was taking the picture using the mirror over their dresser. "Is that our apartment or…" He shrugged. "But wait, I'm wearing the same dress. But… I bought this just for tonight. Did you take this one before we left?!" He nodded with a smile. "How?"

"Magic," he said waving his hand in the air.

"Creepy," she mimicked him. They chuckled. "And what's that you're holding?" She moved closer to the frame. In the picture, Ben held his phone in one hand and something else in his other. "Is that—" She turned around to look at him and found that he was on one knee. "Oh! My goodness! You were serious?"

"Of course." He pulled a small box from his pants pocket. "I had this long speech prepared. About, uh, how much I love you and just how much you mean to me, but—looking at you, all I know is that…" His voice trailed off and he cleared his throat. "All I know is that I want to be your husband."

Goose bumps covered her arms. She knew on some level that their life together would lead to marriage, but this was so surreal. "Okay," she told him with a lump in her throat.

"You're my best friend," he whispered and Miranda realized that he was holding back his tears.

"You're my best friend."

Ben licked his lips. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes." There was no hesitation. She knew what she wanted. He was what she wanted.

He smiled. "Is that all?"

"I don't know." They laughed, wiping tears from their eyes. "And although I've never been proposed to before or engaged, but I think I'm supposed to get a ring or something."

"Oh, right." He stood up and took her hand, slipping on the ring.

"Yes!" She said holding her hand up and admiring it.

"You like it, Miranda?"

She kissed him deeply. "I love it so much, Ben." They hugged, his hands caressing her back. "I love you."

"I love you, too, babe."

"How?"

"How what?"

"How did I get you?" She asked. She smiled when she saw his realization that she'd repeated his question from years before.

"Birthday wishes. I wished for someone who I could talk to and who would love me and support me and be real, someone I could grow old with."

"You wanted all of that when you were thirteen?"

"No, this was last year," he smirked.

She touched his belt loops. "Get over here." Miranda put her arms around his neck bringing him down for another kiss. She had a feeling they'd be doing it all night. "Are we really doing this? Are we taking this leap?"

"I am. And judging by your smile and the ring on your finger—"

"Which is gorgeous, by the way." Miranda looked at the ring again. "Did Raven help you?"

He nodded and sighed. "Then I'd say 'yes'. We're doing this."


	13. 4 Estaciones de Soledad

**4 Estaciones de Soledad**

They were sitting on their living room floor. The fire was blazing and they were so comfortable. They'd been playing a board game and had grown uninterested. Miranda was between Ben's legs and was completely satisfied. But nervous. Was marriage something she wanted—did she want to jump into something so permanent? Their wedding was in less than sixteen hours. "Tell me something," Miranda said with a yawn.

"Something like what?" Ben responded.

"Something you've never told me or ask me something." Honestly, she wanted him to distract her from her worries. She yawned again.

"How about… stop yawning in my face?" The two of them laughed loudly.

She looked up at him and poked out her bottom lip. "I'm serious."

"Um, let me see." He yawned. "Excuse me. Uh…" He made a sound. "We've known each other for a very long time."

"So make it something good."

"So many demands," he said in a kidding tone. He sighed. _Uh-oh,_ Miranda thought. What was he about to say? Did she really want him to confess something? "You were my first real kiss. Like French kissing."

She turned around a little. "You're lying." Ben shook his head. "Really? How is that possible?"

"Would it be cheesy if I said I didn't want to kiss anyone who wasn't you?"

"No," she admitted. "I'd be flattered."

"Then—I didn't want to kiss anyone who wasn't Miranda Bailey." Her stomach flipped and her heart sped up. Sometimes she couldn't take his adoration of her. He was such a sweetheart. "Now, it's your turn."

She blew some air out of her mouth. She put her head back on his shoulder. "I wish my dad… I wish he was here," she said suddenly. The confession was new even to her. Her father had passed away months ago and while it had hurt, tremendously, somehow she'd gotten through the wedding stuff without really remembering that he wouldn't be able to walk her down the aisle, wouldn't be recording her special day like he had every other important day in her life. She inhaled. "I miss him."

"Me, too," Ben told her. "Your dad was always cool with me."

"He thought you were a knucklehead," Miranda said with a smile.

"He was not wrong." They laughed again. Ben danced his fingertips on every part of Miranda's skin that was available to him.

"I know he loved you, but I'm glad he really liked you." Her fiancé smiled down at her. He touched her hair a little and pulled her head back again, kissing her. She accepted the kiss, her hand on his thigh. When they pulled away, she said: "Your turn." She hoped that the conversation would turn away from the solemn topic.

"Do you think we would be as happy as we are with other people, in different relationships?"

Miranda shook her head. "I can't believe that I would be. You?"

"Hell, no." She grinned. "Besides, if I was with someone else, I might get my way sometimes and who would want that?" He scoffed and she elbowed him. "See?"

Miranda turned around and giggled. She put her legs on either side of him and moved close to him. His arms wrapped themselves around her waist. _Home_. "You know. I might get bored of you."

"Think so?"

"Yeah."

"How so?"

"Theoretically, we'll never have sex with other people."

He made a face. "Not even up here?" He tapped the side of his head.

"Not even up there, you weirdo!" She said moving closer, her body touching him seductively.

He moaned. "I-I'm good with that." She moved again, causing more friction. "God, baby. If you don't stop..."

She cocked her head to the side. "Something wrong?" Miranda teased. They hadn't had sex in six days and to divert her own sexual feelings, she toyed with his.

"Nope," he shook his head. "Not at all." He pulled her closer and kissed her passionately. His tongue in her mouth aroused her and suddenly the tables were turned. She was the one being teased. She moaned into his mouth and felt him rise.

"We'd better stop," she whispered. He growled with annoyance. "That's not helping, Benjamin."

"Miranda."

"Let's just g-get another game to play," she offered with her body throbbing. She needed to focus on something else. It was her idea to abstain from most sexual activities. She'd said it jokingly sure that Ben would dismiss the idea, but he'd loved it. Now on the last day, they were both paying for it.

"Go play with yourself," he grumbled and moved away from him. She licked her lips and smiled. She was way ahead of him there. "Yeah, I heard that, too." He laughed.

"Run it by me again," Miranda said to her mother and Raven as they got ready for the wedding. Miranda saw them exchange glances. "And I saw that."

"You'll be fine, Mandy," Raven assured her.

"I know. Just…"

"Give her the short version, Raven," Elena told her. She touched Miranda's cheek and pushed hair out of her face, putting her veil on. Miranda tensed up. "Relax."

Raven smiled at her younger cousin. "The reverend will speak. Probably say something from the Bible. You two will say your vows. Your moms will cry. I will cry. The rings will go on the fingers and bam! You're done," she finished.

"That's it?" Miranda asked.

"Well, there is the being married every day after that and you two loving and driving each other bat shit crazy thing, but that starts in a few hours," Julia said coming into the room and making them all laugh. The three women made a fuss over Miranda who sat there and tolerated it.

After a while, she waved them out of the room. "Okay, okay, okay. I need a few minutes."

"Fine," Elena told her. Raven and Julia agreed. They closed the door a little, not shutting it all of the way.

Miranda stood in front of the mirror. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Raven's youngest son, Shakai, run past the door. "Kai, come here." The little boy strolled in the room.

"Yes?" He stood in front of her and shifted his weight between his feet.

"Why are you running?"

"EJ told me I should."

She grinned. "Why?"

"Because someone is following me."

Miranda got defensive. "Someone like…?"

"A girl. And EJ told me to run because she was going to kiss me." Miranda laughed loudly. She backed up to the nearest chair and sat down, still laughing. "It's not funny."

She looked at her little cousin. How long ago was it that she was the one running into Raven's bridal room complaining about the same thing? "Don't run from her, Kai."

"She won't stop following me."

"She might like you."

"No way!" He said shaking his head. He spied some candy in a bowl on a small table near the window. "Can I have some?" She nodded and as she watched him, tears started to form in her eyes. "Don't cry. Want some candy?" She shook her head. "Are you okay?" He asked, his mouthful of chocolate.

She exhaled. "Yes, I am." Shakai ate some more candy. Miranda looked up to see a little girl walking down the hall. "Is that her?" She pointed.

"Yes!" He started to run beside Miranda and stopped. He went to the door. "Hi!"

"Hi!" The girl said. Miranda watched her cousin blush and leave the room. "She's pretty. Is she getting married?" She asked as they walked away.

"Yeah, that's my cousin," he bragged.

Raven came back into the room. "How are you making out?"

"Pretty good."

"What's with the tears?"

"They're happy tears."

Raven used a tissue to wipe the corner of Miranda's eyes. "I just saw my son walking with the cutest little girl." Miranda smirked. "Reminds me of you and Ben."

"Doesn't it, though? We've known each other practically all of our lives. He's the only boy I've ever really loved."

"And today you get to make it official."

"How's marriage, really?" Raven shoved her younger cousin. "I can't back out now so spill it."

"The best thing ever."

"That's what I need to hear."

"Although you two have practically been married since you were seventeen." She touched Miranda's face.

"Shush! We haven't."

"Yeah, okay," Raven said and she left Miranda. "We're like fifteen minutes out, so sit still, try not to get sweaty and don't be so nervous. It's only love."

"You're no help at all, get out." Miranda paced around the room once and then sat down remembering Raven's advice. A knock on the door made her stand up again. "Who is it?" She called.

"Baby, it's me," Ben said frantically.

She rushed to the door and touched the knob. "Ben!? What's wrong? Is something wrong?"

"Miranda! Stop! Don't open the door yet. Just… t-turn around."

She smiled. "What are you doing, Ben?"

"We've been doing so well, I don't want you to see you in your wedding dress or however the thing goes."

"You want me to take off my dress?" She asked, tempting him.

He laughed. "There'll be time for all of that," he responded behind the door.

"Come inside. I'm tired of talking through wood."

"Okay, well, move away from the door. I'm going to walk in backwards."

"So weird."

"You've been calling me that since we first met." The door opened and she could hear him moving into the room.

She laughed. "Because you are?"

"I am," he said backing into her.

"Ow."

"My bad, babe."

They laughed. He searched her body for her hands. She held onto him. "S'okay." They were quiet.

"I just wanted to hold you before…"

"You're making me a lucky woman," she told him, squeezing his hands.

He sniffed and took one of his hands back. When he put it back into hers, it was a little moist. "I am so ready for this."

"You'd better be," she told him seriously. He shook with laughter.

Another knock on the door pulled them from their intimate moment. "Hey, y'all. Ben they're looking for you," Eddie said. "It's time."

"Okay," Ben said. "Baby, I want to kiss you before I go. Eddie, can you help me?"

"Sure thing, brother," Eddie said moving Ben around her.

"Don't open your eyes, okay?" She whispered.

"Don't open yours either," he said smiling before kissing her softly. When she finally opened her eyes, he was gone.

"OH! Babe, my feet hurt and my body aches," Miranda said as she and Ben crawled into bed that night—that morning, really. It had been such a long and beautiful day that had gone by in a flash. And she was beyond exhausted. Her eyes closed and she sighed.

"No, no, we're supposed to be naked and making love right now," he said touching the hem of her shirt.

"If you don't get your paws off of me, I'm going to fight you, Benjamin Warren." She swatted his hand away.

"I might like that," he responded. She lowered her eyes at him making him grin. "Miranda Bailey-Warren."

She blushed and raked his beard. He was so handsome. He'd definitely grown into the man she'd always wanted. She hoped she was the woman he wanted. "I am so happy right now."

"Ditto," he said pulling her close to him.

"And tired."

"Ditto."

"I love you," she said scratching his back lightly.

"Ditto," he said with a huge smile.


	14. Someone Like You

**Someone Like You**

Miranda took a deep breath and walked into the bedroom she shared with Ben. "Hey, babe."

He was reading a book, being totally adorable. "Hey," she said moving next to him. She sighed. It was her sign to let him know that she needed to tell him something. Miranda glanced at the picture on the wall on her side of the bed. It was a picture that Eddie had taken of her kissing Ben just before their wedding ceremony. He'd given it to them as a gift and it was one of her favorites.

"Okay," he said finishing his last sentence. He closed the book and put it on the nightstand. "I'm listening."

"I have to tell you something."

"I know. I heard the sigh." She giggled. "Oh, no."

"What?"

"Don't tell me you're pregnant."

"Whaa? Why?"

"Because we can't afford a baby."

She sat up quickly. "We both have great jobs, we can afford a child."

Ben sat up, too. "Not time-wise. Sometimes we work really late. And I would feel so guilty, baby."

"Aww," she said kissing his nose. "Wait… are you saying you don't want kids?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"You know I do. Three or four. I'd love a little guy who has your warmth and my level-headedness. A little girl with our eyes and your smile." He touched her chin and watched her smile. "But I also want to be a good dad and these hours won't allow me to do that."

Miranda started to tear up and Ben looked at her oddly. "I think you'd be fine. And you won't be alone."

"But I don't want to leave you alone raising kids."

"As if I would let you." The two of them laughed.

"So… what's the news?"

Miranda sighed again and saw Ben erect himself. "I, uh…" _This is harder than I thought it would be._ "We're… pregnant."

His mouthed dropped open. "What?! We're having a baby?" He asked picking up her hand. With her free hand, she held up two fingers. "No way!" She nodded, unable to speak. "Forget everything that I just said, babe, please. Oh my God!"

"I know. I've wanted to tell you all week."

"You've known for a week?"

"I needed time to think and I was going to do a whole, big thing, but I'm not good at that stuff."

"You're really not." She pushed his chest. "I can't believe this," he said putting his forehead on hers. "We're having twins."

"Yep. Twins. Two babies, already forming in there." She touched her stomach and Ben put his hand on top of hers.

"How did I not notice it before?"

"Notice what?"

"You're absolutely glowing."

"I'm doing no such thing," she laughed, waving him off.

"But you are. And you look beautiful, babe."

She pulled her lips in trying not to smile. "I'm going to get so fat."

"Don't start." She whined softly. "And don't do that."

"Why?" She said batting her eyelashes.

"It's such a turn on." Miranda put her head on his chest as they chatted about her pregnancy. Ben kept one hand on her stomach, moving it slowly, lulling her into comfort.

"Promise that you won't leave when I get big as a house and you can't stand me because I'll be so hormonal and—"

"Woman! I'm not going anywhere. Ever. Pregnant or not." He climbed on top of her. "Damn, you're hot." She pushed up his shirt and touched his muscular back. "Sex is okay, right?"

"Oh, it's encouraged," she told him as he pulled up her shirt and kissed her stomach.


	15. I Wish That Wasn't All

**I Wish That Wasn't All**

"Why doesn't it feel real?" Ben asked. They'd just put their twins to bed after Julia's funeral and were standing in the hall where they always waited for a few minutes to see if one or both of the twins would wake up. At almost four, Destiny and William were finally getting the hang of their shared bedroom. Miranda shook her head. If she could answer her husband's grief, she would. "Like it honestly doesn't seem real."

"I know, baby," she said touching his hand. He squeezed hers.

He sighed. "Is this how you felt after William passed?" The look of desperation on his face made her sadder than she'd been in a long while.

Miranda inhaled slowly. Her chest tightened. She missed her father with everything in her. It had gotten easier to remember him after a few years, but the pain was always there. "It felt like… everything was moving at a rapid speed and I didn't know how to stop it or slow it down."

"I just…" He leaned against the wall. "I'm not okay."

"You don't have to be," she said softly.

"I need to get out of here." He walked halfway down the stairs. He paused and came back to her and kissed her on the cheek. "I'll be back." He touched both sides of her face and kissed her lips softly. A tear slid down his face and between their lips. She licked her lips. "I love you."

"Where are you going?" She asked, ignoring his declaration.

"I don't know. I just buried my mother."

Miranda watched him leave their house, debating whether she should try to stop him or just let him go. She went to her room and lie in the bed. When she'd lost her father, she distracted herself by jumping on Ben any chance she got. No place or time was off limits. By doing that, she was subconsciously wishing and praying that she would come down from her orgasmic high and realize that it had all been a dream; that her father wouldn't really be gone. That his life wasn't cut short just when she needed him the most.

Miranda said a prayer and fell asleep. A ringing phone woke her up. She picked up the phone. "Ben?"

"Yeah, babe. It's me."

She sat up quickly. Too quickly. Her head spun. "Where are you? Are you…" She was going to ask if he was okay, but the question was so trite. Instead she checked the time. He'd been gone for nearly four hours. "Where are you?" She asked again.

"Um, somehow I've ended up in New York."

"What?"

"Yeah, I thought I was going to drive around the block, maybe a few towns over, but my mind went into cruise control and I looked up and there's Times Square."

She laughed a little. "Come home, baby."

Ben sniffed. "I am," he chuckled softly. "I'm s-sorry." Miranda could hear the pain in her husband's voice. He was usually so laidback and mellow, that the anguish he was feeling was almost fake. They were quiet. "I'm sorry for taking off like that. And for making you worry."

"Don't apologize."

"I miss you and the kids."

"It's only been a few hours. I'm fine. They're fine."

"I love you."

"I love you," she said with tears coming into her eyes.

"Aw, don't cry, Miranda."

"I'm not." _Lie._

"You are. And you're going to make me cry." She shook her head, tears coming faster. "I'll be back shortly. I promise."

"Don't rush and please be careful, Ben."

"I won't and I will."

"You don't have to come back tonight." Miranda wanted to give him enough space and time to start his grieving process; which would be long and one of the hardest things he'd ever have to do.

"Yes, I do."

"Why?"

"I need my wife. I need you to hold me."

Her heart skipped. "Okay."

"Okay. See you soon."


	16. DontChange

**Dontchange**

Miranda stood in the kitchen and called out to her children: "Destiny and William, grab your lunches, book bags and meet me in the car in five minutes or I will leave you!"

"You won't leave our kids," Ben, said coming into the kitchen. He tightened his robe. "G'morning, babe."

"You think I won't leave your children, but I will." He hugged her from behind and kissed her cheek. "Good morning, sweetie."

The twins strolled into the room, moving leisurely. Miranda noticed how much Destiny was starting to look like her. At thirteen, she was already starting to get curves. Her brother was the spitting image of his father at the same age. And they each had the same brown eyes that their parents had. "Good morning," they grumbled. Ben hugged both of them, eyeing them carefully. She watched three of the most important people in her life with pure fascination.

"Okay, offspring, let's go," she said. They walked toward the door. She tossed the keys to William as she was pulled back by Ben.

"Are we still on for tonight?"

"What's tonight?" Miranda asked absentmindedly. Her mind was filled with two million different things. She didn't even know how she got anything done.

"It's Wednesday. Date night," he said shaking his head.

"Y-yeah, I knew that. Yeah, we are."

"Mmmhmm." He rolled his eyes, not at all convinced. "And the kids are going…"

"To my mom's," she finished.

"Good. Because we haven't had a proper night together in a long time," he said running his hand along her butt and tapping it gently.

She squealed. "Stop before you start something you can't possibly finish." He raised his eyebrows, daring her. She waved him off. "Uh, I'm leaving."

"Ma, do we have to go to Grandma's tonight?" Destiny asked. She was sitting in the front seat. Miranda wondered briefly about the fight that her children probably had before she got into the car about who would get to sit in the front this time. She didn't ask.

"Yeah, do we? Can we go and visit Ari?" Her son asked referring to Miranda's goddaughter who was living off-campus at the same college her godparents had attended.

"You can call her, but your grandmother really wants to see you," she answered, hoping that her guilt trip would work. They were great kids, well-mannered and smart, but as they got older, it got harder to convince them to do certain things; especially when there was no reason to strong arm them. She heard them sigh in sync. They were giving in.

"Fine. We'll go," Destiny conceded.

"Good," Miranda said. "So you guys will take the bus over there right at three."

"I have to stay after school," they said together.

"Who has what?"

"Basketball," Destiny said.

"Debate," William said.

Miranda twisted her lips to the side. "Maybe daddy should pick you guys up?"

"We can take the bus," William said. He was older by two minutes and took the chance to make decisions for them whenever the time came. They pulled up to the school. "Des, I'll meet you by the art room after practice."

The girl nodded and leaned over to kiss her mother. "Have a great day, you two!" Miranda called after her twins. She watched them separate and catch up with their different groups.

After work, Miranda stood in her bedroom and got dressed. She heard the shower stop and Ben came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. She looked at him and smiled. "You can just go out like that," she smirked. He walked over to her and put his arms around her. She melted. A part of her didn't even want to go out. She'd liked to have stayed inside and spend some quality time with her husband. They were finally back to having sex multiple times a week. They'd cut it down to once a week since the twins were old enough to what they were doing, but recently, they'd gotten into a groove and had been making love often. "Maybe we shouldn't go out at all?"

Ben turned to her and put his hands on his hips. "Miranda." Even after all this time, just the way he said her name made heart race. "We owe it to ourselves to do this. We deserve to have a night where the twins… where they don't exist." The two of them cracked up.

She nodded. "Okay." He had a point. The night was about getting reacquainted with the man she'd married. And she needed to make sure that he was still as happy as the day they were married, that she still kept him coming back for more. When they were dressed, he asked if she was ready. Miranda took one last glance in the mirror. "Yep."

Ben held her hand as he drove to the restaurant. "You look good, baby."

"I know."

"Damn, it's like that." He gasped. "I spoil you with too many compliments."

"No, you don't. My boyfriend does though." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "Kidding."

"I know."

Miranda laughed. "Ha ha."

"We're here."

"This place looks unnecessarily expensive, Ben."

He touched her chin, "Don't worry about it."

"I have to be. Destiny needs braces and William's club is taking a trip to—"

Her husband leaned in quickly as she spoke and kissed her slowly. "Are you finished?" She nodded. "It's fine."

"You're sure?" He cocked his head to the side and looked at her, uninterested in her worries. "Fine. I'm just going to enjoy the night."

"Thank you."

At the table, they ordered drinks and appetizers. "Don't drink too much."

"Jesus, Miranda. I'm a grown ass man," he laughed. She sucked her teeth. He smiled. "Plus, I got us a hotel room which is right next door. If we get drunk, we can walk over there."

Miranda pulled her lips in and grinned. "Ass."

"But you still love me."

"In spite of your ass-ness not because of it."

"Half a dozen." The two of them laughed again. The night was going so well. They fell back into their rhythm of being Ben and Miranda instead of Destiny and William's parents. Miranda touched her husband's hand.

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen," a voice boomed through the speakers. "We're going to jumpstart the night with this great band, Wally and the Bees." Miranda and Ben clapped along with the rest of the room.

The lead singer of the band grabbed the microphone. Miranda thought she recognized him, but she couldn't place him. She chalked it up to a case of mistaken identity or a random colleague that she'd seen at a meeting. "Thank you, Hank. I'm Wally and these are the Bees." More clapping. "Ladies and Gentlemen, if the spirit moves you, please get up and dance. It lets our band know we're playing the right stuff." The room laughed. "Ready?" He addressed his band. Wally turned back to the audience. "Ready?" They confirmed that they were.

Miranda and Ben ate their food through the first few songs, talking and watching the other couples on the floor before joining them for a few songs. They returned to their table for a quick spell. When Ben got up to use the bathroom, Miranda took in the atmosphere—she was expecting a fun night with her husband, but nothing quite like this. "So, y'all. I have a friend in the audience tonight, a lady friend." Everyone aww-ed. "She's here with her husband and we don't often take requests this early, but she was such a good friend of mine and they're such a beautiful couple that when he came to me and asked me to play a song. I _had_ to accept." Miranda glanced to her left and right around to see if she could spot the couple. Ben came back from the bathroom and kissed her cheek making her blush. "I see her looking around. She doesn't even realize who I am." Everyone laughed. Miranda looked at Wally. And instead of seeing the older man with a graying goatee who stood in the front of the band, she saw an eighteen year old Steve that she spent so much time with in her youth. Her hands went to her mouth. "I think she's finally spotted me, ya'll." He pointed and a spotlight followed. Miranda waved Steve and the light off and looked at Ben who was leaning back in his chair taking it all in.

"How did you know?" She asked. Ben shrugged. "Weirdo!"

"So, we're going to play a song just for them." The room seemed to be spinning and everyone seemed to be looking in their direction. "Y'all don't mind, do you?" They clapped. "Good. One, two, three." When the music started playing, Miranda found that she almost couldn't hold back the tears in her eyes. " _Lately you've been questioning if I still see you the same way._ "

Ben walked around the table and took her hand; the entire room seemed to be staring at them. "Dance with me?" He asked.

"Yes," she said looking him right in the eye.

Their chests were pressed together and she was unaware of anyone else on the dance floor except for them. " _Now don't you know you'll always be the most beautiful woman I know."_

Miranda looked into her husband's teary eyes. "You are something else," she told him.

"You make me so emotional," he told her.

Steve continued to sing. " _See, I'll love you when your hair turns gray, girl."_

"You? I can barely see with all of the tears in my eyes." They kept dancing. "Why didn't you have him sing your song for me?"

"He didn't know it," Ben said rolling his eyes. "Who doesn't know Anita Baker's 'You Bring Me Joy'?"

"Amateurs," she said agreeing.

" _I was meant for you and you were meant for me, yeah…_ "

"This dress is smoking. And those heels—damn!" He caressed her back. She shivered, his touch turning her into putty.

"Thank you, baby."

" _And I'll make sure that I'll be everything you need,"_ Steve sang beautifully.

He held her tighter. "And let me add that you look so sexy."

"And you are so handsome and so perfect," she told him kissing his chin.

" _Girl, the way we are is how it's gonna be, just as long as your love don't change_."

Miranda caught Steve's eye and he winked, walking in her direction. He turned off his microphone and another singer picked up the song. "Steve's coming over," she whispered.

"Good," Ben asked kissing her cheek.

"Mand—Miranda," Steve said touching her shoulder.

She turned around. "Steve." They hugged. "And you can call me Mandy. I don't mind."

"It has been too long," he commented.

"Way too long," she echoed. "I guess I don't have to introduce this guy."

The two men shook hands. They'd each turned into very good-looking and decent men, a far cry from the knuckleheads her father deemed them to be. She smiled to herself thinking about her dad. "Thanks for playing that song," Ben said.

"No problem. It's a crowd-pleaser."

"Babe, I'm going to get us something to drink." He looked at Steve: "You need anything?"

"I'm good. Thanks, bro." Ben kissed her cheek again and walked away.

"Mandy, you look so good, girl! Shit!" He said laughing.

"Thank you."

"How are you? And your feller?"

"We're great. Married."

"Beautiful. Any… kids?"

"Yes. We have two children. They're thirteen years old." Steve's eyes widened. "Twins," she added.

"You don't." She nodded. "Cool." Scratched his forehead. "So is this an anniversary or something?"

Miranda shook her head. "Nope. Just Ben." She looked over her shoulder in the direction of her husband.

"I hear that."

"So, uh, how are you? You're in a band? What? And why are they calling you 'Wally'? Is that a frat thing?"

He followed her to her table. "Uh, I'm really good. Excellent even. And I got the name 'Wally' from when I traveled to Australia. It's a long story. I'll spare you the details for now." Miranda chuckled. Steve smiled and a part of her remembered when his smile used to be all she ever wanted. He silently asked if he could have some of her water. He picked up the glass and took a sip. "And I started playing and singing in college. Never looked back."

"You have some voice."

"That's why I was such an outstanding kisser," he said nudging her.

"Stop. You were alright." They laughed, accidentally shaking the table. "Are you married? Any kids?"

"I was married for a few years. Not my type of hype. I'm a wild thing."

"I remember," she said picking up Ben's glass of wine and drinking some.

Steve chuckled and clapped his hands. "I have one daughter. She's fifteen. And, let me just tell you when they get in the mid-teens, they are two handfuls." He picked up a piece of bread off of the table and ate it. "So, in your case, you'll have four handfuls."

They laughed again. "It is so good to see you again, Steve. And I really mean that."

Steve hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek. "It's so good to see you, too, Mandy." Ben walked back to the table, waving to Steve who was returning to the stage.

In the hotel, Miranda pulled on a robe and turned on some music. "I just can't believe you did all this for a Wednesday date night."

"Don't you deserve it?"

"Of course," she said flipping her hair. He smiled and slid one arm around her body and kissed her neck, untying her robe. Underneath she was wearing nothing but her underwear. She pulled away from him, walked to the nightstand and picked up the phone.

He snatched it from her hand. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Um, calling my children."

"They are fine, Miranda."

"But I still want to make sure." He exhaled deeply and dropped the phone into her hand. He eyed her hard. "Fine. Damn."

Victorious, Ben put his lips on her neck again without any other part of his body touching hers. "Why'd you go through all this trouble when you know that us going to Taco Bell and eating tacos over the sink would have sufficed. It's so random and extravagant." She walked away from him and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Don't think that tonight was an afterthought. I always want to have special nights with you." He sat next to her. "You're my lady."

She looked over at him. "Do you want to have sex?"

"Wow. So romantic," Ben said inhaling deeply.

"What do you want me to say?" She said putting her head on his shoulder. He didn't respond. "Do you want me to say how happy I am right now? And how special I feel every day that I'm around you? " He nodded as she touched the belt on his robe. "And what about how much I absolutely adore you." She squeezed his thighs and his body jumped. "Are you turned on? Because I am turned on." She lowered her voice and opened his robe exposing his nearly naked body. "I kind of want you right now."

"Kind of?"

"Yes," she breathed. They moved further up on the bed. Miranda climbed on top of her husband, straddling him. He moaned and sat up, putting his face in her chest. His hands unhooked her bra and he was finally able to get to her nipples, biting them. She threw her head back and whined. "Shhh!"

"You're the one," he told her laughing. "And you don't have to be quiet. I don't care who hears up tonight." He pushed down her panties and touched her gently. "Do you want another kid?"

"Do you want a black eye?" She said sweetly.

"Point taken. I'll just… pull out," he responded quickly kissing her lips and cheek.

"That's how the twins got here," Miranda laughed. "Get some protection."

He huffed. He went into the bathroom. She pulled off her robe and underwear and slipped under the covers. He lifted the comforter and peeked underneath it. He bit his lip and closed his eyes. "Yes. This is how I want to see you every damn day." A giggle escaped her lips. This most definitely wasn't her first time with Ben, but he still excited her, still made her giddy. Like when he used to get her attention while she was in class and they would rush to the bathroom for a quickie. Or when they would make a date to have sex and wore the twins out throughout the day so that they would sleep long and hard, unable to interrupt their parents who'd been thinking about each other all day. She hadn't told him recently, but he still made her heart skip whenever he smiled at her. He turned off the music and lay next to her. "You are so gorgeous, Miranda," he told her sliding his hand along her body. She shivered and she was quiet as he moved inside of her. Everything was so silent. She didn't know that digging her nails into his back had a sound. Didn't remember what it felt to have uninhibited sex. She moaned underneath her breath. "Let it out, baby." She licked her lips and shook her head. He rotated his hips and she couldn't help but to scream.

"BENNNNN!" He laughed on her cheek. "Shut up." He kept making love to her, her screams getting louder with each pump.

"My, my, my," Ben said when Miranda finally rolled off of him.

"What?" She answered, a little hoarse.

He lowered his eyes. "I married a real sexual tigress, didn't I?"

His wife nodded. "You're not so bad yourself."

"Burn!" He touched her breast and she slapped away his hand. "You're still a damn good lay, baby."

"You're still a weirdo."

"So I've been told."

"I feel like calling off of work."

"You can't."

"Why not?"

"Uh, because you're the boss."

Miranda made a face. "Have I mentioned what a great night this has been?"

"Maybe once."

"I'm a lucky woman."

"I keep telling you that."

She turned over and Ben positioned himself behind her. "I love when you do that." He kissed between her shoulder blades and she sighed. "You make me feel good," she told him softly.

"Never change from the amazing woman, wife and mother that you are, okay?" He said in her ear.

"I promise," she whispered passionately. "As long as you continue to be the most supporting man, husband and father that you've been."

"Of course," he answered with enough fervor that send chills up and down her spine. "I promise."


	17. Chasing Forever

**Chasing Forever**

Miranda and Ben lay in bed, several inches apart, their fingertips barely touching. A knock on their bedroom door made Miranda wake up. "Answer it," Ben said moaning.

She smiled and put her hand in his. "No. I'm asleep."

"You're not." Miranda pretended to snore and opened one eye. Ben looked at his wife and exhaled: "Come in, daughter."

Their youngest child, Mikayla, walked through the door. "Good morning."

"Good morning, baby," Miranda responded, propping her pillow up.

"It's your wedding anniversary today," the girl said sitting on the bed.

Miranda looked over at her husband. He was a little heavier, a little grayer and getting a little sexier every day. "Oh, yeah," he said and Mikayla laughed.

"Happy Anniversary, baby," she said leaning over to kiss him.

"Happy Anniversary, babe," Ben told her, his hand on her waist. "Wait, what number is this?"

She hit him. "Twenty… something."

"Holy shit," he laughed.

Miranda joined in: "Benjamin Warren!"

"Pretend all you want—twenty… whatever is a huge number." Ben winked at their daughter.

"It is, but we've known each other for something like…"

"forty-ish years," Ben said matter-of-factly.

"Ugh, don't remind me," she responded with a smirk. She squeezed his hand.

"Can I ask you guys something?" Their daughter asked. They nodded already knowing where this was going. "How'd you meet?" She loved when they told the story together, even joining in to tell some parts herself.

"We've told you this story before," Ben said to the eleven-year old.

"I want to hear it again," she said.

"Ask your brother or sister," he said gesturing to the door.

"Please!" She said getting between them.

"Tell the story, husband."

"Only if you help me, wife."

"Okay." Miranda took a deep breath.

"Mama! Daddy! I'm home!" A voice called through the house.

"Destiny!" Mikayla said. "We're in mommy's room."

"It's my room, too," Ben said making them laugh.

Destiny walked into their bedroom and Miranda felt like she was watching her clone maneuver. "Hey, y'all," she said. She hugged her father and kissed her father on the cheek. Destiny ticked her little sister, pulling the girl into her chest.

"Happy Anniversary, parentals." Miranda and Ben thanked her. "We came home for your anniversary."

"Your boyfriend is here, too?" Miranda asked. "What's his name?" She turned to her husband.

"I don't know. 'Average Joe'?" Ben offered.

Miranda pinched him. "Stop."

"No," Destiny jumped in. "His name was _Brian_. I dumped him. I'm talking about William; he's here."

"Oh," Ben said. "Are you okay?" He shared a quick look with Miranda who looked relieved.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's cool," Destiny said simply.

"Good," Miranda said winking at her oldest daughter.

"So, my son is here?" Ben asked.

"Yes." Destiny answered, sitting on the bed. She started playing in Mikayla's hair. "He came up before I did."

"Where did he go?" The youngest of them asked. "We didn't see him."

"I'm here. I'm here. The favorite is here." Everyone groaned. Destiny threw a pillow at her twin. "I had to go to the bathroom," William said chuckling. He kicked off his shoes and joined the rest of his family on the bed. In him, Miranda saw the young version of her own father that she'd only seen in pictures.

"So you were lurking around up here and no one noticed?" Ben said. The son nodded. The father shook his head.

"Hug," Mikayla said holding out her hands for her brother. William hugged them all.

"So what are we doing?" They told him. "Oh, yeah, duh, Happy Anniversary, mom. Happy Anniversary, dad."

Miranda was elated. Her entire family was piled in her bed, chattering and filling her heart with pride. "Okay, okay, everybody be quiet!" Mikayla said. "They're about to tell the story."

Ben looked past their kids to Miranda. "Ready?" He asked kissing her hand. They hadn't let go since Mikayla had come into the room.

"Ready," she said. "So I was a flower girl in Raven's wedding and this little boy kept following me."

"And you thought she was so pretty," Mikayla added. "Hunh, daddy?"

Ben smiled at Miranda. "Still do."

"And you thought he was weird. Right, mommy?" Mikayla chuckled.

"And I still do," Miranda said with a nod. The kids laughed, already entranced with the beginning of their story.

"She didn't know it then, but she was in love with me."

"I really wasn't." She turned to her kids. "He was annoying."

"You danced with me!" Ben argued.

"Because you begged me." She pulled her hand away, cheesing. "Practically on your hands and knees."

"Well…" He said wiggling his eyebrows. Destiny and William laughed. "I said I wanted to marry you. I predicted all of this." He gestured around the room, pointing at each of the kids. "So, you all are welcome."

"And I'm telling you now like I did then—go away." The kids doubled over with laughter. The two of them continued the story as the five of them made their way to the kitchen and prepared breakfast. After breakfast, Destiny took Mikayla to school and William went shopping for dinner.

When they were finally alone again, Miranda sat the table and watched Ben wash the dishes. He finished and sat next to her and asked: "More coffee?" She cocked her head to the side. "I don't even know why I asked."

"Want to take it to the living room?" She asked.

"Sure." They took their cups into their spacious living room. Mikayla's books were on the table. And the twins' bags were still at the door. Miranda couldn't hold back a smile. "What's that for?"

"What?"

"That smile," he said putting his mug to his lips. She got comfortable on the sofa, putting her legs on his lap. "So?"

"I was just thinking that… you are the love of my life, Ben." He reached out for her hand and kissed it. Her eyes started to burn and Ben put their cups on the table in front of them. "You are the father of my very intelligent, very well-mannered and beautiful children and my very best friend." Her hand went to her chest. "We…"

"Miranda." His voice was scratchy. "I'm man enough to say that you are going to make me cry."

"I'm going to make myself cry." They laughed, their laughs harmonizing. Miranda sighed and kept going: "Our life so far has been amazing. I don't know what our future has in store for us, but I know it will be amazing. And, honestly, I cannot wait." She smiled. "I just don't know what I would do without you."

"Well, you are inevitably stuck with me. And our three gorgeous children. The life that we have created and that you, specifically, have made so wonderful to be a part of has made me an extremely rich man." He licked his lips. "I am in love with you. Always have been." He kissed her, sliding his tongue into her mouth, tasting her.

"I am in love with you," Miranda said touching his beard. "And have been since… forever."

"I knew it!" Ben laughed.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Happy Anniversary, babe," he kissed her wedding ring.

She repositioned her body. "Right back at you, baby."

Ben pulled Miranda closer and kissed her passionately. His tongue entered her mouth again and she smiled as he touched her neck. Her hands found his head as their bodies were pressed against each other. The heat from his body matched hers. She knew exactly what he wanted. And all she wanted was him. That was the thing with them. They knew each other so well. And not just the big stuff like how she would get mad at him if he didn't say 'good night' to her no matter where they were in the world or how he loved when she held his hand in public, showing off their love; but the little stuff like he knew that she needed a few silent minutes in the morning before starting her day and she knew that he found it necessary to binge-watch his favorite TV shows all night on the weekends. And they satisfied each other in more ways than one. He was the only lover she'd ever had, but he was pretty amazing—she never got tired or bored of how he made her feel. And the years they spent together proved that he enjoyed her as well. She pulled away and he sighed, touching her thighs. "We have the house all to ourselves. Finally."

"It was your idea to have three children," she ribbed.

"You agreed." He held his stomach as he cracked up. She sucked her teeth and she touched the front of his shirt and moved closer to him. Miranda bit her bottom lip.

"Do not do that," he whispered.

"Do what?" She asked brushing her lips against his cheek.

Ben made a noise. "I want you, Miranda."

"I can tell, Benjamin."

His hands continued to caress her thighs, moving upward. "Want to take a shower?"

"I, uh, already took a shower," she said. He looked at her and raised his left eyebrow. "Oooh, you mean an adult shower." He nodded slowly. "A sexy shower. A dirty shower." She wiggled her brows. "Let's go. I'll follow you."

Her husband held out his hand and she grabbed it, holding on tight; just like she'd done on that dance floor when they were seven. Just like when she'd held his hand, leading him out of the church after they'd gotten married. Ben was so right, he'd wanted her from the time he'd laid eyes on her and had worked to get her, had earned her respect and trust and love. And she appreciated every year she got to spend with him. He was her soul mate. Their love and friendship had spanned nearly her whole life and Miranda was grateful that there was someone who was totally in love with her; someone who made her wake up with a genuine smile on her face. That he was hers—forever.

-The End-


End file.
